Put the boy in a bubble?

I've decided that it is time to home school.  That way my children will never, ever, ever have contact with any other child ever again!*  At school, some other mother's child felt the need to tell Mr. Cheerful that Santa is not real**.  So, like any predatory creature, he chose to come to the weakest member of the herd.  Me.  As he knows that if he asked Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy would lie to him (a fact which I think Mr. Happy is actually proud of!  Yeah, yeah... all you dad's unite on that being a good trait...).  The conversation started like this "You know how you've promised to never lie to me?".  Seriously... I knew right in that moment that whatever was to come next was NOT going to be good for me and that I was totally screwed!  He then followed with so-and-so told me that Santa isn't real and he wanted to know the truth.  I did the 'what do you think's' and 'I believe in Santa' (keyword being believe - which is not a lie!).  He saw the subterfuge of my attempts to divert and not answer, so he persisted with his own 'really, squeezes into a tube?', 'hits a gazillion houses on one night', 'has reindeer that fly', etc..  Ultimately, after wearing me down (a trait he has learned well from Mr. Happy.  Yeah, yeah... dad's uniting again on this being a good thing...), I finally answered that no, not really.  As the tears welled up in his eyes I was crushed - I'd just taken the magic away from my child.  I apologized for telling him the truth and that I wished I could have lied to him but felt a little trapped because he's started the conversation with making me promise I wouldn't.  To this, he got really, really mad at me and said that he wasn't crying because the magic was gone, he was crying because I've been lying to him for YEARS.  Years.  Yikes!  I think I would have preferred the loss of magic!  The conversation then progressed to the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Elves, Fairies, Rudolph and Reindeer.  Thinking that was a segue to redeeming myself I pounced on the reindeer aspect - as I was able to point out several zoos in which he has seen reindeer with his own eyes.  Unfortunately, he saw through that one too and somewhat condescendingly said 'yes mom, but they don't fly'.  Ugh!

Which leaves me with our Christmas traditions being based on a lie, instead of magical.  He might not believe anymore, but I think I need to.  I need for there to still be gifts from Santa.  I need us to put sparkly oats on the lawn so that the flying reindeer will see them from the sky and land on our lawn to eat them.  And then Santa can squeeze through the dryer vent to get in our house since we don't have a fireplace and we needed an orifice from the outside to the inside for Santa to squeeze into!  Laugh all you want, but how did you explain, on the spot, to a toddler how Santa gets in the house?  I need us to sprinkle reindeer food on the lawn, darn it!  Because if we don't, the realities of having a high schooler, middle schooler and upper elementary child are going to come crashing in really, really hard!  And seriously,  Mr. Cool isn't married yet and Little Miss Sassy Pants is WAY too young, so it's not like any grandchildren are coming along any time soon for me to lie to!  Wow... I'm now looking forward to lying to little children! What is next in the degradation of my life?

So, while I'm not actually serious about homeschooling my children (I mean seriously - they are in AP courses, Advanced Courses and the Gifted and Talented program - you think that would, or could, have happened if I was homeschooling them?***),  this would, in part, be a public service for all other mom's as my kid is now that 'other mother's child' that is probably telling all his friends the truth about their parents lying to them for years on end since birth.  Ugh again!

Notes:

* Homeschooling Moms:Don't get your knickers in a bunch!  NO!  I do not think that you shelter your children from other kids.  Frankly, I personally think you probably do a better job of social interactions for your kids than I do for mine.  This is meant to be humorous, not a personal attack, so take the chip off your shoulder and look for the humor because I think you guys are great and admirable in what you are doing!!!

** For all my fanatic Christian friends (you know you are but I still love you anyways...), Christmas for us IS about Christ's birth.  Same as Chanukah is a Festival of Lights and in no way goes against Christ or my now being Christian so we still celebrate it to honor the traditions by which I was raised.  And while Mr. Happy (who is a borderline fanatic Christian! *grin*) and I do make sure that our kids know that Christmas is about Christ, we do also still have the magic of Santa (which story has it was acting in honor of Christ's birth), Rudolph, Reindeer and other elements of 'mainstream' Christmas infused into our Holidays.  To say it's about Christ's birth period is wonderful for your family, but it doesn't make my family any less Christian just because we choose to have the magic woven in as well.

***This is a reflection on my abilities, not an attack on homeschooling.  From what I hear, your kids score much higher than district kids on standardized tests, ACT and SAT's.  Again, meant to be humorous and totally about me stunting my children's intellectual capacity if they were reliant on me as the sole source of brain nutrition!

Additional Note: I find it very sad what society has done to women in that I feel that I have to do these disclaimers as everyone is so incredibly hyper-sensitive.  What happened to women  bringing each other up, supporting the personal choices we make and not taking everything personal as it most likely wasn't intended that way.  I think there should be no more finger-pointing, no more misconstruing of comments and all women should be confident in their choices and supportive of each other!!!  But... that is a whole different rant!!!