Child Care Union

During my hiatus from feeling like writing (that dark murky place I went to where nothing seemed funny) I had bursts of ranty-ness surface.  

Yes, I just made up ranty-ness.  I like it so just run with it, okay?  Fantabulous makes me happy too.  This post isn't about the dictionary (one of my favorite books by the way) so let's not discuss my word-making-upping.  Made that one up too...

The following exchange occurred in May and still makes me giggle at Mr. Happy's response.  So... feeling not so energetic as to come up with my own, new rant today - I'm stealing from my own old rant in May and then expanding on it today...

In early May, Mr. Happy got an email from a one of our state senators about the day care unionization bill and forwarded it to me asking what my thoughts were on it.  Here is what I wrote:

I think it is bullshit for daycare providers to be defined as state workers.  I also have some issue with them unionizing since there is not a need for union to assist in contract negotiations with businesses for the rights of the the members/workers and the 'workers' are self employees day care providers doing business with individuals.  This pissed me off.  Those are my thoughts on this!  I feel a blog coming on...

Mr. Happy's response, which makes me giggle every time I read it:

Ok, and what are your real thoughts, don't hold back. 

He cracks me!

So, unfortunately even that was not enough to get me back to blogging then, but I am working on it now. And boy, I really do have a potty mouth when I'm fired up!

Since this little exchange between Mr. Happy and I, Governor Dayton has signed SF 778 into a law.  The interesting thing is, the few people I know that are daycare providers don't want this and aren't happy about it and say that no one they know is lobbying for it.  The biggest concerns I'm hearing is that they are self employed and the union turns them into state employees (which validated my initial response to Mr. Happy) and that the only way to avoid being part of the union is to not take in any CCAP families - but this then limits the options for those families and having State money is a lot more stable income than self-paying families.

Obviously, my exposure to this is limited to a few people with similar mindset.  But looking at the movement online against it and articles citing a predominant base of Child Care providers being against it, I have to ask - why exactly was this law put in place.  If it does not benefit those that are actually affected by it then it is political agenda, not the people's voice.

And, admittedly, I'm a tad tainted on union involvement due to my own experiences as a government employee forced to be in a union and what I've witnessed in this particular union creating a negative impact on work ethic - which sucks as that is not what a well formed and correctly run union does.  A well formed and correctly run union benefits it's members but doesn't excuse their misbehavior.

Very curious to hear what others think about the formation of the Child Care Union, as like I said... I only actually know a few people truly affected by this.

Sports Intensity

WARNING: This post has some not pleasant language.  I'm feeling surly about this topic and my potty mouth has surfaced...  If it will offend you then don't read it.

My kids are average. No delusions here. They might get some scholarship money for college and even possibly play college sports (okay, maybe I am a tad delusional) - but scouts aren't going to be visiting and offering us cars and they aren't going pro (though that would be awesome as then Mr. Chatterbox would love his mama again, well, at least when any national cameras were around).  As long as they have good grades, our boys participate in a sport a season.  They also participate in Scouts and Church programs and Mr. Cheerful takes drum lessons.  Little Miss Sassy Pants does brainy but cool and kind of expressive extra-curriculars like Book Club and Newspaper, and no longer does sports, so that's why we are just talking about the boys - she is not being excluded in any way.  As such, we have to find balance between the activities.  Most other parents I talk to are in the same boat - trying to find balance for activities of multiple kids in multiple things (which are not always the same) and having to make choices on which things to miss when there are conflicts.  Should my kids not be in sports ever because there might be a scout camping trip resulting in a practice or game missed?  Should my kids not be in scouts because there might be a game that conflicts with a troop or den meeting?  What about when I have to get them to places on opposite ends of town at the same time on a night when Mr. Happy is out of town - should they just not go if I can't find a ride for them instead of showing up 5-10 minutes late? Really - is 5-10 minutes late that awful vs. not being there at all?   Remember, we are talking about 10 and 12 year olds.  We aren't even talking about high school sports - these boys are elementary and middle school aged.  And I haven't even started my rant... so here goes:

• parent's who are stay-at-home or teachers with the summer off - knock it off... the rest of us don't have your life and the bar you've set is too darn high for us to meet it.  We get it... you don't have anything else in your life so you take this sport very serious.  You are never late, you never miss a practice and there is never anything other than this sport so nothing gets in the way of being here.  I can't stand these parents.  The ones that sports is their life and they make it their kids life and they don't get that other people don't feel the same way. And the thing is, their kid isn't going pro either.   They also expect you to figure it out no matter what and accept no excuses and usually don't have the extenuating circumstances like a traveling spouse or health issues. The thing is... why am I even having to explain myself to you - it's none of your flippin' business!!!  Life is hard.  I'm really happy for you that your's isn't but leave me and mine alone!  Let's be clear here though... I know several parents who are stay-at-home or teachers that don't act this way - so I am not saying this is a trait of all stay-at-home or teacher parents... I'm saying the ones that act superior and make my attendance or dedication their business need someone to knock them off that pedestal.  
• how about the coaches that bench kids at games who didn't come to practice?  Again... not talking about high school.  We are talking about elementary and middle school aged kids on teams that are patch-worked together with primarily volunteer parents coaching.  If you are on the high school team with a paid coach - yes I guess that I expect that coach to be a dick at times (although we will see when my boys get to high school how well I do at watching them get yelled at as my tolerance level now is pretty much nilch and I'm a tad over-protective so I'm really not sure what a few years is going to change on that, but we'll chat about that when we get there...) but at this age level - seriously... stop being an asshat!  Watching my kid sit on the sideline watching an entire game because he wasn't at practice the week prior due to a health condition out of his control does very little for me.  I get it - we are trying to teach them commitment to the game and the team and it does matter that they go to practice, not just the games, but if a kid didn't make practice it wasn't because he just didn't want to go.  It's because something else was going on, the kids was sick  or injured, or there is some extenuating issue.  I do not know a single parent that would accept the excuse out of their kid that they just don't want to go.  And seriously, if I - THE PARENT - is making the choice for my child to not be there (and again - that would not be for just not wanting to go) then who are you to punish my kid for a decision I made FOR them??? More than that... at this age it should be about building a love of the sport and equal playtime for all kids.  If you are stacking your roster and only playing kids that will make you win then you should not be coaching this age level.  
• having my kid yelled at for being late.  This one really ticks me off.  You are yelling at someone who has no control over their schedule and cannot drive themselves.  You don't know why they are late and you don't know if it was the kids fault or the parents fault.  If my kid isn't ready to go when it is time and he is late - I've already yelled at him in the car on the way there. But if that wasn't it... if he's late because of the parent, then what is your yelling going to accomplish other than make him feel bad for something he couldn't control?   You don't know the circumstances... maybe this kid was at the door or in the car with all his gear ready to go at the right time to get there on time or even early but the parent had to deal with something.  As a coach, if you see a consistent problem, then connect with the parent(s) to find out what is going on, to see if everything is ok, see if they need help or at a minimum get an understanding of what is going on.  What you don't do is yell at the kid in front of all the other kids when again (sounding like a broken record now) at this age they have no control over their schedule and they can not drive themselves but don't yell at the kid.  And certainly don't yell at them the first time it's ever happened - that isn't a pattern... that's a fact of life happening!  I do want to say my little mantra again though... these kids have no control over their schedule and they can not drive themselves.  No, really... did you hear me???  CHILDREN HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER OVER THEIR SCHEDULES AND THEY CAN NOT DRIVE THEMSELVES.   Did the yelling help?  No, of course it didn't.
• a parent sniping that if you can't get your kid there to use carpools but not offering to be one.  Really? I had a situation here recently where there were a couple grueling weeks of an extensive travel schedule for Mr. Happy during which I was relocated for work to the other side of the Metro, had exhausted my list of 'get help from other parents for ride's' and wanted to actually attend a game to see how awesomely average my kid was but couldn't find the field resulting in us being late - a parent who barely knows me has the audacity to tell me to use carpools!  Admittedly - I did not handle this well - I responded that it was so awesome that they were offering to carpool for all the other parents even though I knew that was not in any way what they were saying or meant. It was effective though - the conversation ended.  Like still... this person avoids me - so sometimes it is good to say what you are thinking.  Just not usually for me - so I won't mistake this one success for becoming a lifelong habit.  Thought that would be so wickedly cool if I could just start making all my snarky comments out loud instead of just in my head!
• the loud mouths on the sidelines that think they know the game better than the coach or the refs.  Really?  If you did then why didn't YOU volunteer to coach?  Why are you helping at practices when you can?  The coaches are doing their best and the refs are doing their best.  You aren't.  You are being an annoying whiner how just needs to shut your mouth.  This is bad, bad, bad sportsmanship that you are modeling.  Keep it clean and keep it positive.  Root the team on - loud and obnoxious is good if you are positive.  You can even be yelling at your boys to get to the ball first or stay on their guy (I'm faltering a little here as the majority of the time I am lost at sporting events and just repeating what Mr. Happy has said so I know it sounds good...) but don't yell at the coaches or refs to pay attention.  Don't yell at the boys to 'wake up' because the other team is 'creaming' them.  That would in absolutely no way motivate me so I can guarantee you it isn't going to motivate these boys.  Actually, that's a lie.  It does motivate me to wish that it was acceptable in society to punch morons.  Fortunately I'm a wimp and a weakling so we have no concerns that I'm ever going to go postal on anyone *grin*
• I have more, but I think I've made my point that people are taking youth sports way, way, way too serious. 

In all this, I do have to say - I, as a parent, benefit greatly from my kids being in sports because the majority of parents or coaches are not like the few bullet points I put above (I have more bullet points I could have done, so I really could potentially rant about this again later... that was probably foreshadowing for those that didn't catch it) and the social aspect for parents in sporting kids is AWESOME.  I love being on the sidelines with the majority of the other parents.  And our family has been quite lucky in having some coaches in the boys lives that are just totally and completely into the sport themselves in a positive way making the season a wonderful experience that has my boys wanting to come back again next year.

And... I do have to admit, in all the balance that I have to achieve - I could not muster it without the amazing support of some pretty awesome people in my life.  Whether it is from giving a ride, keeping me updated or being an ear for my vent... my support system  is an amazing, uplifting thing.  Even the ones who I rarely get to see.  But now we are migrating into the topic of friendships and how to maintain them and this rant was about parents who take sports too intensely!

LinkedIn Endorsements are totally bogus

I'm going to say it like I mean it... the endorsements on LinkedIn are totally bogus. There is no vetting to the endorsement. I get a box at the top of my profile asking me to endorse other people for skills that they've listed they have. I only endorse people that I have actually worked with in the capacity that the skill set was used for - so an endorsement from me is valid. When another parent from our elementary that I barely know that has connected with me on LinkedIn then endorses me for my Progress 4GL Programming knowledge - which I haven't even used in the past 10 years and have only know the person for the past 6 years since we moved to the Metro, I have to wonder what they think they are doing. Does this person even know what Progress 4GL is? Why are they endorsing me for a platform they know nothing about. Seriously! I do like when former bosses, co-workers and peers in the industry endorse my skills as they actually know what I'm capable of. I'm even ok with the elementary parent endorsing me for things like social media content, project management, organizational skills or other similar skill that they could feel they've seen because of the different volunteer duties I've taken on within our community. I do a lot for several different organizations. Especially the eNewsletters with Constant Contact and Social Media stuff. So I get that. But not them endorsing me for my db admin, programming or sys admin stuff. Come on! Since this bugs me so much, for my part I am very, very stingy with the endorsements I do. I want them to have actual value and meaning. I think I am alone in this though. So... I say to you all - when on LinkedIn please only do legitimate endorsements!!!

For those that do not know what LinkedIn is, it is essentially the professional connection equivalent to Facebook. It used to be a much more professional networking location that gave some insight to someone you were doing business with, looking to hire or peripherally connected to professionally. Now it allows people to do status updates and blog posts lessening it's value. And did I mention the bogus endorsements?

Gone for a while

I've been gone for a while.  I honestly had nothing to say.  My life was consumed by food issues and in the middle of it was a little ticked off at God for doing this to my youngest son.  Didn't necessarily what to share my nasty blasphemy... Well, we are on the other side of all this now.  I get it, I manage it, my kiddo is safe and happy and good to go.  I also realized that my anger was very, very misplaced and am very thankful that God could handle the misdirected anger and still love me in the end.  In the middle of it all, I've had several people ask me why I wasn't blogging anymore.  I didn't know I'd be missed...

So, since you asked for it... you've got it - I'm back and will start spewing my rant-y attitude again!

Much love,
Little Miss Rant :)