Far Far Away from My Heart

It's been a while since I was feeling ranty.  I've said that before. When I 'disappeared' before.  I have mini-outbursts (often! Poor Mr. Happy gets to hear them all), but not anything that needed to get out, to get onto paper (so to say).  But, (in the reworkings of some BoDeans lyrics) -

this feelings coming on again

it's kicking, screaming deep inside me

I'm so tired of fighting with myself

so I pour another drink... 

Oh, wait... that last line has nothing to do with writing.  Or maybe, really, it does ;)  

A few things have transpired in the time that I haven't been writing:

1. Mr. Happy said we will never get the lake house I want if I don't finish a book.  Since I am still massively affected by writer's block (which translates as hatred of all content thus far and a crushing stupidity of needing to be brilliant instead of just needing to write - thank you Facebook status posts and Twitter tweets for ruining my writing abilities!), I've decided that daily writing of something is necessary rather than just avoiding the whole issue of undesirable content and a blandness that has enveloped my life.  And by something, I do not mean the length of a witty FB post or diatribe that has been my only venue of recent days (months...)...
2. I've watched a couple movies lately that have motivated me to be inspired again (to be clear, I just said... motivated me to be inspired, not actually inspired). Mr. Nobody for it's take on the multiple paths in life we can take - I've always been fascinated by this, which is in part why I think I loved the book One by Richard Bach so much, so many years ago, when I read it the first time.  As a teen, I had a poster of a girl at a fork in the road with signs that said something about the path taken and the path not no longer being an option.  Can't remember it's exacts - the point was just that the multiple options we have in life has always intrigued me. Plus, I've got Jared Leto obsession going right now and he's in the movie.  Stuck in Love wasn't necessarily a great movie, but I really liked it and the measures of writing daily, of experiencing life and of loving deeply struck a cord with me. Enemy is one of the weirdest damn movies I've seen in a while - but the twisted lucid dream-like state of the thing brought me back to a time period when I was reading guys like Kafka and Sartre.  Or maybe I just thought it was a schizophrenia thing and liked the concept and bizarre imagery.  Watch the movie and you decide. Regardless, it was a movie that made me think - what am I doing?  I still have freaky dreams but I do nothing with them.  I still have brilliance surface once in a while but I do nothing with it.  People are making art, following their ideas, doing something.  I'm a glorified data junkie, making muffins and picking my kids up from activities.  No art resides here anymore.  That's kind of sad.  Like I said... a blandness has enveloped my life.
3. I've reconnected with music recently.  Music has always been a major influence on my life, my moods, my 'me'.  While I've fallen in love with some amazing voices and enjoyed a few songs - none have inspired my obsession lately.  And I love being obsessed by a band or singer - I love music that moves and affects me, not that I just like or enjoy.  In comes Thirty Seconds to Mars.  I'd heard a couple songs by them during their This is War album time period but hadn't really delved into them - then an article appeared online about the actor/musician cross-over.  Hello Jared Leto - you have a band?  Even more shocked, you have a band that I knew of.  So I started listening to more songs and liked the music.  Flash forward a few months and they are coming to town. Started listening to the newest album (Love Lust Faith +Dreams) and a daily obsession began for me and for my family as I felt the need to infuse the music into their lives since I wanted to go hear the band live.  I simply love Jared Leto's voice, love the lyrics, love the passion in the music, love the sound of the instruments, sometimes behind/sometimes in the forefront, of the songs.   I'm not a fan of their very first album and only like a few songs from the second (A Beautiful Lie) - but This is War and LLFD are amazing.  I cannot help myself but to play it very loud, with the top down on the convertible, singing at the top of my lungs.  It's put me in a pretty darn good mood lately. The added plus to this is that Mr. Chatterbox and Little Miss Sassy Pants loves them too - I love us enjoying the same music.  I think Mr. Happy and Mr. Cheerful are tired of the repeat play, but they will live - it makes me happy. *grin*
4. And then I started watching the music videos and peeled back a few more layers of Jared Leto content as a director (Bartholomew Cubbins), a photographer, an activist, a promoter, etc.  Oh, and Mr. Nobody, the movie I mentioned above.  Which leads into the Jared Leto obsession. You simply need to see Artifact.  It is appalling to me what I learned about labels (the record companies) and how artists get paid (of course, countered by the fact that we are just seeing one perspective of it (heaven forbid I not see, or point out, the reality of all situations)).  Or more to the point - what they don't get paid on... their albums.  It gives me a new understanding for why concert ticket prices are so darn high.  You also need to check out VyRT.  It is the beta stages of a social experience with musicians that Jared Leto created (or maybe just thought of - I don't think he's the technology behind it, just think he's the vision and push behind it).  Seeing what he is doing there combined with watching Artifact and witnessing his FB posts, tweets, instagram uploads, etc. to be connected with his fans (Echelon!) - I have a great respect for what he is doing, as an artist, to promote the band, his causes, and himself.  He is setting the bar high for musicians to establish a relationship with their listeners and I'm excited to see where VyRT goes as it transforms from a 30STMs platform to a venue for other artists. He's also tweeted about music he's listening to which has put me onto the singer Banks who also has a very haunting sound and songs I'm intrigued by.  That right there is the power to influence and I hope to see musicians that I like share more of what they like. Anyways, learning more about Jared Leto and seeing what he has done has also motivated me to be inspired.  Like he seems to be.  I want that drive and passion back in myself.
5. I've been someone else lately. With all the 'positive is a choice you make', criticism I've spent a life time hearing about my personality and self-help about being a better person that circulates the web and at work, I've been shoving so much down inside rather than getting it out that I think I'm going to burst.  I've been trying so hard to always do the right thing, not say what pops in my head (having a filter is sooooo exhausting) and play nicely with others.   I've been trying to be a positive person instead of my pessimistic, realist, negative self.  I'm kinda done with that.  You know what? If being positive is a choice I make in every situation then all you happy people can also chose to be realistic or chose to have a negative reaction to something - just the same as I do.  But you don't, because what comes naturally to you is positive.  What comes naturally to me is cynicism, skeptical instincts and dark twistiness.  That said... even being all that - I actually am happy.  Ranting makes me happy.  Being a realist makes me happy. My husband and kids make me happy.  It isn't a choice to be positive or negative - we are who we are so stop trying to make me you!  A recent FB challenge really brought it to home for me - I was challenged to write three positive things a day for 5 days.  Here is how my first day went: 1) I think it is fantastic that some people are happy, early-risers as they are the coffee makers for the remaining 76% of us.  2) I do not fart rainbows and unicorns. This is actually a very positive thing-can you really imagine hyper-spaz me on happy dust?  3) The apocalypse has not happened, therefore I get to live and breath another day. Wait... This one might not wholly count as positive *grin*.  Day 2 started with this: 1) I drove home without yelling at anyone to learn the zipper merge.  See where I'm going here?  This is me on positive.  I'll say it again... stop trying to make me you - I'm quite happy with me how I am.  (Or at least right this moment as I'm typing this; I will go back to my self-hatred after the euphoria of my daily writing pledge wears off).
6. A rude email this morning worked as a catalyst to make me want to rant and retaliate but societal constraints prevented me from actually sending the well crafted response that I had.  I hate deleting good content.  So, while I couldn't hit send, I can blog *grin*  It will be it's own blog post shortly (or maybe tomorrow, I think I've hit the time limit on my daily allotted requirement to write, journal, rant or be creative in some way). 
7. I miss baking.  It was a cathartic way for me to feel good about something I can do.  It will be part of my expressive outlet, not just writing daily.  So I might share some recipes. Or I might not.  That's one of the books that never got finished... a recipe book that started during the time frame that Mr. Cheerful went gluten-free.  He is now back on a normal diet and food allergy free (he still has a couple meds that have an anaphylactic reaction that we will not even think about challenging - avoidance is far safer).  So I can breath again (no fear can do that for you - seriously, if someone accidentally feeds my child medicine then he shouldn't have been with them in the first place...).  Which makes me want to bake, and write, again.  But that is a post of it's own, as well, that I am not writing today.
8. I have a very personal issue/fear that I faced recently and have to face again in the very near future that has affected my heart, my thoughts and my energy.  It makes me want to get shit out, say what I want to say and be who I am.  Life is so very, very short so why do I keep waiting to live mine until after the kids do this or that.  I need to redefine what it is I want for my life and then sculpt it into the life that we as a family have.  How can I tell my kids to live to their fullest if the example I'm setting is to sacrifice everything I want for someone else?  In the words of 30STM... it's time to Do or Die (except that is one of my least favorite songs - so that we are all on the same page about it...)

So... here I am.  Back for a while, ranting along.  A friend told me to know who my audience is for this blog.  Well, frankly, it's me and, hopefully, my family.  So, I hope you enjoy the ride if you are following along for it will not be focused to a single topic or premise - it will be whatever pops in my head at any given moment that I feel the need to get out because I'm actually inspired or societal norms won't let me do it where I want to (email, verbally, etc.).  Gloves off, not afraid to hurt anyone's feelings, deal with it... that'll be me, on here, for a while.  Maybe. *grin*

Child Care Union

During my hiatus from feeling like writing (that dark murky place I went to where nothing seemed funny) I had bursts of ranty-ness surface.  

Yes, I just made up ranty-ness.  I like it so just run with it, okay?  Fantabulous makes me happy too.  This post isn't about the dictionary (one of my favorite books by the way) so let's not discuss my word-making-upping.  Made that one up too...

The following exchange occurred in May and still makes me giggle at Mr. Happy's response.  So... feeling not so energetic as to come up with my own, new rant today - I'm stealing from my own old rant in May and then expanding on it today...

In early May, Mr. Happy got an email from a one of our state senators about the day care unionization bill and forwarded it to me asking what my thoughts were on it.  Here is what I wrote:

I think it is bullshit for daycare providers to be defined as state workers.  I also have some issue with them unionizing since there is not a need for union to assist in contract negotiations with businesses for the rights of the the members/workers and the 'workers' are self employees day care providers doing business with individuals.  This pissed me off.  Those are my thoughts on this!  I feel a blog coming on...

Mr. Happy's response, which makes me giggle every time I read it:

Ok, and what are your real thoughts, don't hold back. 

He cracks me!

So, unfortunately even that was not enough to get me back to blogging then, but I am working on it now. And boy, I really do have a potty mouth when I'm fired up!

Since this little exchange between Mr. Happy and I, Governor Dayton has signed SF 778 into a law.  The interesting thing is, the few people I know that are daycare providers don't want this and aren't happy about it and say that no one they know is lobbying for it.  The biggest concerns I'm hearing is that they are self employed and the union turns them into state employees (which validated my initial response to Mr. Happy) and that the only way to avoid being part of the union is to not take in any CCAP families - but this then limits the options for those families and having State money is a lot more stable income than self-paying families.

Obviously, my exposure to this is limited to a few people with similar mindset.  But looking at the movement online against it and articles citing a predominant base of Child Care providers being against it, I have to ask - why exactly was this law put in place.  If it does not benefit those that are actually affected by it then it is political agenda, not the people's voice.

And, admittedly, I'm a tad tainted on union involvement due to my own experiences as a government employee forced to be in a union and what I've witnessed in this particular union creating a negative impact on work ethic - which sucks as that is not what a well formed and correctly run union does.  A well formed and correctly run union benefits it's members but doesn't excuse their misbehavior.

Very curious to hear what others think about the formation of the Child Care Union, as like I said... I only actually know a few people truly affected by this.

Ready for the Holidays?

It sounds like  most everyone is feeling that they aren't ready for the holidays this year.  Being an over-achiever, in the past I was able to keep up with stuff like that and wasn't able to commiserate with the non-stay at home moms with the balance they weren't achieving (mind you, I wasn't judging though... I tried to never be one of those moms and attempted to always be supportive - if that's not the case I really wish someone would have told me if I was being intolerable!!!).  Now that I'm back at work (and even 2 1/2 years past going back to work, it still seems like a new thing!), I find that balance is not so easy to attain and totally get how hard it is not having a bunch of daytime hours to manage my time with.  So, I thought I would make everyone who's feeling behind get a glimpse at how horribly I'm doing so that they might not feel so bad about their own list.  Doesn't that always work... "I'm doing awful, but hey Susie Que over there is doing so much worse so it doesn't seem so bad..."

So...  let's get real about how the holiday's are panning out in Happyville...

Chanukah started on Saturday December 8th.  In the middle of a meeting on Thursday, December 6th where the speaker had a heavy accent that no one could understand (you don't even want to start me on this rant... I know we need to be pc about cultural diversity, but when you are so insistent on not even attempting to be understood it seems like a really bad career choice to go into public speaking.  Okay... I said it.  Go ahead and rant back at me about how totally un-politically correct that statement was!) my mind started to wander and it suddenly hit me... holy menorah batman!...  Chanukah was due to start on Saturday.  A day and a half away Saturday.  Oy vey... a day and a half away SATURDAY!

• Chanukah Presents:  Thanks to Mr. Happy being in town, his total obsession with CostCo and my love of Barnes and Nobles... we got presents cranked out in a few hours that evening.
• Chanukah Candles: On Friday Mr. Happy counted the candles for my and Little Miss Sassy Pants' menorahs and found that we had enough leftovers from previous years to hodge podge our way through most of Chanukah.  He then stopped by the temple and picked up a couple boxes for us on Saturday since he was on that side of town at a xcSki Coaches training.

At that point I was thinking... WOW! We pulled that off without a hitch and the kid's will never know how unorganized I've become since going back to work (again... at 2 1/2 years is this allowed to be considered a growing pain?).  And then last night... Mr. Chatterbox asks 'when are we going to eat the Chanukah food?'.  

• Chanukah Food: Holy Blintzes Batman!  I forgot about our tradition of eating potato latkes with apple sauce, blintzes with sour cream and cherries, sufganoit (jelly-filled donuts) - all of which are fried in OIL! - and flourless chocolate cake that we have on the first night of Chanukah.  And then, let's not forget... the homemade challah bread that Mr. Happy started making when we couldn't find it anywhere without annatto (Mr. Cheerful's first anaphylactic allergy (we have a new one... the pepper family (as in bell, chili, banana, jalepeno, etc. - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet!)) that we use for french toast the following morning (as in first morning of Chanukah).  I've obviously strayed far, far away from my Jewish heritage to have forgotten about the FOOD!  So.. Mr. Happy to the rescue (again!!! - and he's not got a lick of Judaism in him!!!)... he's back in town today and is going to call around to see if there are any Jewish deli's or bakeries that have gluten-free, annatto-free, pepper family-free (*bleh to that mouthful, from this point forward in this post we shall refer to it as GF, AF, PF (not to be confused with MF... which I really feel like spewing right now, but I'm a lady so I won't say it!  Yea... just run with the idea of me not having a horrid potty mouth, okay?) blintzes, latkes, challah, etc. as a save for tonight.  Mostly likely, the reality is that we are either not going to do the food this year or I'm going to spend significant time Saturday (last day of Chanukah) attempting to turn all my from-scratch recipes into Bob's Red Mill All Purpose Flour recipes!  I'm sure that I will manage this on the first pass and it will all turn out amazingly yummy.  *snort*  

Side note:  This Chanukah I'm beginning to wonder if Mr. Happy is paying people to distract me so that he can keep save the day.  He has been AMAZING.  You should want for a husband as awesome as this.  But I still wonder if he's paying people so I will appreciate him more! *grin*

And then there are the GF, AF, PF* @ School Holiday items that I need to purchase or order.  There is the pizza party followed by an ice cream sundae bar on Thursday and the gingerbread houses making on Friday.  My list includes:

• Ordering a GF, AF Pizza from Dominos to be delivered at the same time as the rest of the 4th grades order.  I thought I was ahead of the game in knowing that Dominos already has a GF, AF option.  Now I have to go back and check the ingredients in the sauce to make sure that none of the pepper  family (again... of the bell, jalapeno, banana, etc. variety, not black) is making it spicy!  So... uncheck that one...
• For the Sundae Bar we need Oreos and Vanilla Ice Cream.  I've got the GF Oreos by Kinnikinnick (one of our favs!) and have the AF Vanilla Ice Cream from Izzy's on the list for this weekend's errands.
• I'm started on the GF, AF (and now PF) gingerbread (which are really graham cracker) houses, in that I've already purchased the Kinnikinnick (need to buy stock in them and in Udi's!) Graham Crackers, I know where I can get the GF, AF Pretzel Rods and we have a can of AF White Frosting as a backup in case I can't find white in the whipped variety without it having the generic 'color added' in the ingredients (3 brands so far are a bust so far).  I'm going to take a look at the GF food store where I'm getting the pretzel rods this weekend.  Beyond that, I'm not sure how much energy I will put into this before e-mailing the teacher my dilemma about my child having the wrong kind of frosting - but they had whipped underlined on the letter that came home, so I need to give it a bit more of a try before admitting defeat! 

All said and done though, I'm thinking the school food issue isn't all that behind... but... 

Did anyone remember that I have two kids with Birthdays on December 23rd?  Except... we are celebrating my, Little Miss Sassy Pants and Mr. Cool's birthday's this weekend!  Yikes!  Okay... actually, that was just dramatic effect.  We already have birthday presents.  Our only 're-org' is that I now have to work on a restaurant option that is also PF, I already had GF, AF options.  I'm thinking I will call tomorrow (Saturday) morning since we are planning to go out Saturday night.  That doesn't seem procrastinated at all, does it?

There are many staple Holiday Traditions that we have...

• Holiday lights are Mr. Happy's passion and in true Griswald fashion, he's already got stuff on the house, in the front yard, and back yard, and on the deck, possibly in the neighbors yard (okay, well, not really, but it sounded funny, didn't it?).  Again with Mr. Happy being on the ball and me not.  Pisses me off, you know?  (Ha, ha and HA... there comes that potty mouth).
• Big 4 and ABC Family Holiday shows... we've watched Blake Shelton sing, Michael Buble sing, Frosty get married, Kris Kringle get married, Kevin McAllister get left home alone and Buddy find out he isn't really an elf.  DVR'd and waiting for us are several more of the classic animatronic (? is that right, I don't think it's claymation, but maybe?) the Year w/o Santa, Miser Brothers, etc.  So I think we are in good shape on this one.  Yes, let's not discuss that I don't have any of the things I need to do on my errands list done but we've watched lots of TV.  I already know I suck as a real mom, I just play a good one on TV!
• We've been trying to get to Holidazzle and the Macy's animatronics show (this time I know I'm using the right word) since the first weekend in December but just haven't been able to make it work with schedules yet (really... why can't they do it EVERY night instead of just the weekends?).  Might end up not going AGAIN this year.  Makes it not much of a tradition, eh?  Poor Mr. Cheerful, he's getting really ripped off when you compare his childhood to his older siblings who had me as a stay-at-home mom that made everything happen without a hitch!
• Homemade Martha Stewart quality family time crafts.  'nuf said.  That's just not going to happen!  (It didn't happen at Halloween or Thanksgiving either... for the past 2 1/2 years, ya know?)
• Holiday Card.  We probably just shouldn't talk about this.  We haven't even taken a family photo yet.  We are planning to this weekend when Mr. Cool is here, but seriously... no photo yet totally translates then to the ordering of cards and mailing not done either.  What waas that?  Holiday letter?  Well... last year I did a Wordle because I ran so late.  Tacky to do that two years in a row?  And I feel bad about this because cards have been trickling in since Thanksgiving and my friends all have such amazing photos and letters.  I used to love this!  You know, back when I was stay-at-home and had an hour or so to work on stuff.  (Wait, what is that - how long did it take me to write this blog instead of doing something useful?  *feigns innocence* I don't know) 
• Conversation about the Christian aspects of Christmas... done!  Thanks to the lovely conversation Mr. Cheerful and I had about Santa (see said conversation here)
• Tree... Not yet cut, let alone placed or decorated.  On this weekend's list.  Seriously, who needs tinsel  and broken bulbs this early?
• Presents... Thanks to Mr. Happy making me go to Black Friday sales Thursday night (!?! Can it still be called black Friday when it's Thursday night?) we are mostly done.  (I.can't.believe.he.has.made.me.go.to.Black.Friday.on.Thursday.Night.two.years.in.a.row - Ugh!)  So really, now it's just the last minute pull it all out and see if we short-changed anyone then dash out to balance the loot.
• Except then there are the presents for the extended family... a few years ago we did a homemade gift that went over well.  I thought we'd do it again.  Mr. Happy (darn him!) has already bought the ingredients, errr... I mean components if you are one of my extended family reading this - components gives nothing away! *grin*... but they are sitting on the table waiting to be, um... assembled.  Yep, that's it... assembled is what we are doing to the components this weekend.  And then since Mr. Happy is off for the next 2 1/2 weeks (double darn him) he can mail it all on Monday.

Whew... anyone else tired just thinking about this?  Sounds like I have a lot to do this weekend, eh?  Are you feeling better about how much you've already got done yet?  If not, I could make some more ridiculous holiday tasks for myself ensuring a mental breakdown before I turn 43 (which would actually solve my holiday problem since my birthday is 3 days BEFORE Christmas!)...

Put the boy in a bubble?

I've decided that it is time to home school.  That way my children will never, ever, ever have contact with any other child ever again!*  At school, some other mother's child felt the need to tell Mr. Cheerful that Santa is not real**.  So, like any predatory creature, he chose to come to the weakest member of the herd.  Me.  As he knows that if he asked Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy would lie to him (a fact which I think Mr. Happy is actually proud of!  Yeah, yeah... all you dad's unite on that being a good trait...).  The conversation started like this "You know how you've promised to never lie to me?".  Seriously... I knew right in that moment that whatever was to come next was NOT going to be good for me and that I was totally screwed!  He then followed with so-and-so told me that Santa isn't real and he wanted to know the truth.  I did the 'what do you think's' and 'I believe in Santa' (keyword being believe - which is not a lie!).  He saw the subterfuge of my attempts to divert and not answer, so he persisted with his own 'really, squeezes into a tube?', 'hits a gazillion houses on one night', 'has reindeer that fly', etc..  Ultimately, after wearing me down (a trait he has learned well from Mr. Happy.  Yeah, yeah... dad's uniting again on this being a good thing...), I finally answered that no, not really.  As the tears welled up in his eyes I was crushed - I'd just taken the magic away from my child.  I apologized for telling him the truth and that I wished I could have lied to him but felt a little trapped because he's started the conversation with making me promise I wouldn't.  To this, he got really, really mad at me and said that he wasn't crying because the magic was gone, he was crying because I've been lying to him for YEARS.  Years.  Yikes!  I think I would have preferred the loss of magic!  The conversation then progressed to the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Elves, Fairies, Rudolph and Reindeer.  Thinking that was a segue to redeeming myself I pounced on the reindeer aspect - as I was able to point out several zoos in which he has seen reindeer with his own eyes.  Unfortunately, he saw through that one too and somewhat condescendingly said 'yes mom, but they don't fly'.  Ugh!

Which leaves me with our Christmas traditions being based on a lie, instead of magical.  He might not believe anymore, but I think I need to.  I need for there to still be gifts from Santa.  I need us to put sparkly oats on the lawn so that the flying reindeer will see them from the sky and land on our lawn to eat them.  And then Santa can squeeze through the dryer vent to get in our house since we don't have a fireplace and we needed an orifice from the outside to the inside for Santa to squeeze into!  Laugh all you want, but how did you explain, on the spot, to a toddler how Santa gets in the house?  I need us to sprinkle reindeer food on the lawn, darn it!  Because if we don't, the realities of having a high schooler, middle schooler and upper elementary child are going to come crashing in really, really hard!  And seriously,  Mr. Cool isn't married yet and Little Miss Sassy Pants is WAY too young, so it's not like any grandchildren are coming along any time soon for me to lie to!  Wow... I'm now looking forward to lying to little children! What is next in the degradation of my life?

So, while I'm not actually serious about homeschooling my children (I mean seriously - they are in AP courses, Advanced Courses and the Gifted and Talented program - you think that would, or could, have happened if I was homeschooling them?***),  this would, in part, be a public service for all other mom's as my kid is now that 'other mother's child' that is probably telling all his friends the truth about their parents lying to them for years on end since birth.  Ugh again!

Notes:

* Homeschooling Moms:Don't get your knickers in a bunch!  NO!  I do not think that you shelter your children from other kids.  Frankly, I personally think you probably do a better job of social interactions for your kids than I do for mine.  This is meant to be humorous, not a personal attack, so take the chip off your shoulder and look for the humor because I think you guys are great and admirable in what you are doing!!!

** For all my fanatic Christian friends (you know you are but I still love you anyways...), Christmas for us IS about Christ's birth.  Same as Chanukah is a Festival of Lights and in no way goes against Christ or my now being Christian so we still celebrate it to honor the traditions by which I was raised.  And while Mr. Happy (who is a borderline fanatic Christian! *grin*) and I do make sure that our kids know that Christmas is about Christ, we do also still have the magic of Santa (which story has it was acting in honor of Christ's birth), Rudolph, Reindeer and other elements of 'mainstream' Christmas infused into our Holidays.  To say it's about Christ's birth period is wonderful for your family, but it doesn't make my family any less Christian just because we choose to have the magic woven in as well.

***This is a reflection on my abilities, not an attack on homeschooling.  From what I hear, your kids score much higher than district kids on standardized tests, ACT and SAT's.  Again, meant to be humorous and totally about me stunting my children's intellectual capacity if they were reliant on me as the sole source of brain nutrition!

Additional Note: I find it very sad what society has done to women in that I feel that I have to do these disclaimers as everyone is so incredibly hyper-sensitive.  What happened to women  bringing each other up, supporting the personal choices we make and not taking everything personal as it most likely wasn't intended that way.  I think there should be no more finger-pointing, no more misconstruing of comments and all women should be confident in their choices and supportive of each other!!!  But... that is a whole different rant!!!

Dehydrate Me Please!

Mr. Happy has a new obsession.   It's my fault... I told him to do it!  It all started with my desire to have edible trees and bushes.  We started with planting 2 apple trees and a plum tree when we moved in 5 years ago.  That grew to a salsa garden (Mr. Happy makes the BEST salsa) of tomatoes, onions, jalapenos and cilantro the following summer.  Then the next summer we added blackberry, blueberry and raspberry bushes, several strawberry plants and numerous rhubarb plants.  Now we have all that and an herb garden.  I guess I just love edible greenery and thankfully Mr. Happy can make it all grow (I have no green thumb... mine is orange - the dead shade of orange that signifies you don't have a green thumb!)!  Yes... all this in a very suburban neighborhood.  Can you imagine what I'd have done if we'd stayed in Northern (rural) Minnesota with acreage?  Mr. Happy'd be a farmer by now - overalls and all!  Though that image isn't quite as sexy as the lumberjack one I have for him - all burly, stubbly and flannel like... Okay, okay... back to the story... So far, the apple trees and plum tree have only yielded enough fruit for our family to enjoy each fall.  Until this year... the plum tree and Sweet Sixteen remained contained in a size fit for our family (*sob* if something was going to explode it should have been the Sweet Sixteen - I LOVE that apple variety).  The Haralson apple tree, however, exploded.  Like really, really exploded.  The top picture is with over half of it's harvest already plucked from branches.  Which leads to Mr. Happy's new obsession.  After a visit to Mills Fleet Farm (you can take the boy to the city, but you can't take the rural out of the boy...), Mr. Happy was talking dehydration and vacuum sealers.  So, I innocently said that I thought it was a great idea as we will not be able to eat all those apples before they start rotting and the kids LOVE dehydrated fruits.  Silly, silly me for thinking it would stop at apples.  So far, we have skin off apples pre-treated with lime, skin on apples, skin off apples pre-treated with Fresh Fruit Produce Protector with and without cinnamon added - and this is for about 1/3 of what we picked off the tree when we harvested it about 10 minutes after I took the picture above.  There are 5 boxes of apples still sitting in my garage (next to all the cub scout popcorn which is making it really hard to park in there... doesn't Mr. Happy understand that the garage is for my car?) waiting to be stored or dehydrated.  Even so... Mr. Happy moved onto dehydrating his herb garden (I believe he froze half and dehydrated half).  Then started the big stuff... rather than buy dehydrated meals in the pretty tin foil-esque packs from REI that just need boiling water added to produce a spectacular camping meal... Mr. Happy is making us dehydrated meals for our upcoming Boundary Waters trip.  Item one is Sweet and Sour Chicken which requires dehydration of cooked chicken, pineapple, various vegetables (peppers, onion and I'm not even sure what else - it was just tray after tray after tray of items being dehydrated) and the sweet and sour sauce; item two is chili which is dehydration of meat, beans (ummm... we are dehydrating already hydrated beans?), tomatoes, and the tomato paste.  (bottom picture is cinnamon apple rings, chicken, onion, orange and red peppers and the sweet and sour sauce)  Hoping it is as tasty as those ones be buy at REI or the kids may revolt!  I'd hate to deal with mutiny in a canoe as there really is nowhere for Mr. Happy to escape to! It did not end here though... the pièce de résistance is when he used my Pampered Chef Cookie Press to make jerky. That is the point when my eye began to twitch!  Sorry dear loved ones, I will not be sending cookies this year!  I will never be using my Pampered Chef Cookie Press again... but we will have jerky in pumpkin shapes and christmas tree shapes... JOY!  All griping aside about... a great by-product of this month's 'Mr. Happy obsession' is that our home continually smells like a home-cooked meal (of which we've had none since Football and Cross Country season started!)!  Not quite sure if the dehydrator has negative effects on us like a microwave does... but it does seem like my skin is dryer and my sinuses are suffering.  But then... I'm a total hypochondriac, so I could just be imagining it!

Me, blogging? Really?

I've been told that I should blog.  I apparently have many opinions and provide others with much entertainment   Not sure if that's meant in a good way or not!  So, here we are... Life in the Shades of Orange universe.  Shades of Orange you say, why such a title?  Well... orange happens to be my favorite color, but then as life would have it... I have a kid with an anaphylactic allergy to Annatto - a natural colorant that changes cheese (among many (oh so many) other things) from white to orange.  So, rather than have his face swell up and the traumatic (for me) administering of epi-pens... we pretty much eat nothing orange any more.  Except for Doritos and Cheetos - as they are artificially colored.  Who'd have thought that 'all natural and organic' girl would suddenly be happy when she saw the word artificial!   My kid may end up with an extra limb... but he'll be alive!  Anyways... Annatto can also be the slight tinge of yellow in vanilla ice cream and butter or for a full on red (though Paprika is more commonly used for that).  There you have it... Shades of Orange (you know... yellow<-orange->red... get it yet?).  Thankfully I love to cook - which makes our house much, much safer!  Apparently, this allergy has also made me an incredibly bevy of information regarding the crap that is put in the foods we buy and how to look up ingredients online.  My husband wants me to write an app for the ingredients thing.  I think he believes in my ability to prosper a tad to much.  He's the dreamer, leader and entrepreneur   I'm the little worker bee that prefers someone else be in charge!  I had my stint in management and loved the mentoring side of it - hated the politics of it.  Office politics suck.  Political conversations about our government/candidates engage me.  Hmm...

So... for the intros... I've already established that I'm a mom who likes orange but can't eat it (except orange peppers (the bell variety not the habanero kind (although they are awfully cute) anymore - I was a spice aficionado in my youth (even had that awesomely cool poster of various kinds of chili peppers with spice rating) - as a mature adult... spice and zantac are always together)); I'm a mid-level worker bee (in the IT industry); I'm apparently very fond of run-on sentences (bite me you grammar police); I'm incredibly Type-A and my heroes are the likes of intelligence or rants - think Einstein meets Dennis Miller and Dennis Leary.  Yeah... I know... they really shouldn't go together in the same sentence; and I'm HORRIBLE at phrases (had the nickname Ace for years because I replaced 'my' for 'the' in the phrase Ace in THE hole).  For some period of time (during my haitus from the IT world to be a stay-at-home mom (sort of... I took part-time tele-commuting programming jobs a good portion of the time)), I wrote a local 'family friendly events' column for Examiner - but then I realized that making pennies wasn't worth it and it wasn't going to get me a career at a newspaper or in a Social Media or Blogging gig... so I got a real job, back in the IT world, and now punch a clock again. What else... I love to read and I love words - my favorite books, in fact, are the dictionary and thesaurus.  'nuf about me though... let's meet the family...

In the left corner, weighing in at... no, no, no.  My husband is in no way a fighter.  He has told me (and anyone who will listen (and watch) his (gregarious) storytelling, the story that he was once in a bar fight with friends in which they pre-decided who had what guy.  My dh ('dear husband' for you internet challenged folk) took his guy to the bar for a beer while everyone else duked it out!  So, I think we will call him Mr. Happy (yes... yes...  I am totally stealing from the Roger Hargreaves book series!).  I suppose I could have picked Mr. Perfect, but then we'd have to deal with his Mr. Ego other self.  So, Mr. Happy is a higher level sales/marketing guy for a vaccine company.  NO... I will not tell you which vaccine company.  He's athletic, sometimes in an obsessive way, having competed in triathlons and now avidly playing lacrosse while still cross-training (but not competing).  He loves to do things for our kids - he coaches their sports teams (football, basketball, lacrosse), is a Cubscout Master and volunteers for Boy Scout outings.  He also loves to torture them with his love of outdoors and sports by regularly making our weekends active and full (the man can not rest... he absolutely, positively has to be doing something always - me, notsomuch... the kids and I are more than happy to plop in front of the tube and watch something stupid!).  He eternally believes in positivism (glass half full... ugh...) and even has stupid voicemail messages like 'Smile and you will make someone else smile'.  Gag!  Makes me wanna punch him right in the grinning... no, not really - that would come across like I support domestic violence.  And I don't.  Mr. Happy is awesome (when he's not annoyingly happy), intelligent, funny (in a goofy way and sometimes annoying ham-like way), good around the house and sexy.  Simply put, a keeper - so... you can't have him!

Our oldest, Little Miss Sassy Pants (yes... I know that isn't really a Little Miss book, but she fits the title so I'm keeping it!), is technically my step-daughter (Ack! That would make me the evil step-mother... a fact that her real mom has tried to manufacture for years but keeps failing at... epic-ly).  I met Mr. Happy and Little Miss Sassy Pants when she was two and from the very beginning we just connected.  She's now a teen and in high school and I think we are even better now than we were when she was little.  That, or she has me very snowed!  Seriously though, she is amazing and made me believe that I was a really, really good parent (then her brother's came along and all illusions have been destroyed) because of how amazing she is.  She's also beautiful - inside and out.  Just like the Bruno Mars song - she's perfect just the way she is.

 4 years younger than Little Miss Sassy Pants, Mr. Chatterbox came along and dominated our world.  We used to fight about who's baby he was - mine or Little Miss Sassy Pants.  He's hyper and witty and funny talented.  He's our middle-child and a middle-schooler, but never middle of the road.  Much like his mama (that'd be me) he is one extreme or another.  He's a groovy saxaphone player, a runner and an xc skier and has played lacrosse since first grade (I blame him for Mr. Happy's current monetary and time obsession).  He's my mini-me, which is really cool but also at times incredibly frustrating as we can be the best of friends or worst of enemies.  Fortunately Mr. Happy's around for tag-team parenting when Mr. Chatterbox and I start to verbally spar!  Recently he introduced me as a freak (because I like comic books) and a geek (because I work in computers).  Nice, eh?  He is definitely the child that is going to break me... but I look forward to every single moment of it!

And then came Mr. Cheerful.  He's smarter than the rest of us (and we are afraid, very very afraid), incredibly articulate and a total charmer (a chip of the old man's block) - he is Mr. Happy's mini-me.  He's the kid with the allergy (ironic that Mr. Cheerful is orange, is it not?) and the most mature of us all in handling it (mama's a wreck... Mr. Cheerful's got it all under control).  He's finding his way in the world trying to not be compared to his sister or his brother.  He is still at the elementary, but not for long.  He plays football, basketball and lacrosse.  He's still my cuddle-bug, but won't admit it to anyone.  He is a thinker, and when he speaks you know that it's been well-thought out and deliberate in his approach.  He is incredibly empathetic and reminds us to be civil and loving when the rest of us are acting poorly.  Which we are, acting poorly, often - we are a family of talkers, and interrupters, and sometimes quite obnoxious.  

While he hasn't ever lived with us, I can't introduce the family without introducing Mr. Cool (yes... I know blue is not a shade of orange, but just run with it, okay? Brown would have been just too drab for Mr. Cool!).  He's my adult step-son who I also claim as mine.  Thankfully his real mom thinks that's a good thing.  I totally adore and love his real mom and think that if I'm even a fraction like her then I'm in a good place.  Mr. Cool hangs out with us about once a month - he's clear on the other side of the metro and in his early 20's - so he's busy being 20-something which translates to working then hanging out and being cool with his friends.  We love when he hangs out with us and have come to figure out what bait to dangle to peak his interest - boating, camping, disc golf playing, bonfires and seems to be okay with board game nights too.  And... he appears to love my cooking.  Either that or he's figured out how to dangle bait in front of me too! *grin*

And there we have it... welcome to Shades of Orange.  Don't expect anything spectacular... I'll focus on allergies, our lives in a blender (get it... blended family - lives in a blender?), ranting about this then ranting about that and then some more ranting!   Mostly this will just be a place to share more about our lives with our extended family because they just don't get enough of it on Facebook. Enjoy!