We are a blended family... Mr. Happy brings with him 2 kids from 2 different moms and then together we added 2 more kids to the mix. It's isn't always easy... but who said life would be? Do I have divine wisdom to impart on other blended families? NO... because each blend is unique and what works for ours might not work for yours. Am I willing to profer tidbits of wisdom when I have them? Sure... but I'm the only one who will think they are profound! *grin*
Here's a bunch of inspirational quotes that I find fun: http://pinterest.com/remarriageworks/inspirational-quotes-for-blended-families-aka-step/
So... here is my first tidbit of wisdom to share and it sounds a little ranty but... what'd you expect? Get over yourself! This is not about you! It's about the kids that are in the mix! It doesn't matter if the ex is evil, mis-mannered, ridiculous, out of control or even at fault. What does matter is that your children do not ever feel like this is there fault, are not made privy to the adult issues and don't feel like they have to choose sides, like one parent more or pretend that one doesn't exist. It is crucial that they feel loved, welcomed and safe in both of their homes. They are allowed to love you both and you shouldn't make them feel that that is bad. You shouldn't bad-mouth someone they love to them. If you need to talk about the ex - vent to a friend, post it on Facebook (if your kids are under age and don't have their own FB pages), hey... here's an idea - start a blog about it! Just make sure that what happened between you and your ex is between you and your ex - not between you and your child or your child and your ex. Don't do the suitcase or transfer of clothing - that makes a kid feel like a vagabond that doesn't really live either place - provide them clothes and toys in both locations then let your kids take what they want back and forth, if they want to. If it's their stuff - then what do you care if you paid for it or your ex paid for it... it's the child's belonging. So... there it is... advice #1 is that you make it about the kids involved!
"applause" Well said!
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