Marriage Amendment Misinformation

This is a rant regarding the upcoming vote on the Minnesota Marriage Amendment.  If you don't want to hear my opinions or are sick of politics, wait for my next post - I promise to attempt light and fluffy there!

Today I heard a radio ad that just completely irritated me as it is total misinformation.  The ad targeted parents claiming that in other states - particularly Massachusetts - that allowed marriage to be redefined allowing same sex marriage led to children in schools being taught about same sex marriage and that parents would have no rights to have their children not be exposed to it then urging to not let marriage get redefined here.  This is so incredibly misleading... This amendment is not about allowing gay couples to get married.  The redefinement that is happening in this proposed amendment is to define marriage as one man-one woman.  So the people who are talking about the bad in redefinement of marriage are actually the one's attempting to make the actual definement of it in the amendment.  The question on the ballot is not should we allow same sex couples to marry - the question on the ballot is "Recognition of Marriage Solely Between One Man and One Woman. Yes or No" and if passed would add a section to Article XIII of the Minnesota Constitution to state "Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota.".  So... the only redefinement going on is the one that would define marriage as a man and a woman.  This amendment is not asking to allow same sex marriage.  It is not about gay rights.  It is about fundamental religious factions wanting to limit marriage and write that constraint into our State Constitution.  The State Constitution.  I'll say that one more time - this amendment is not about a law - it is about a modification to our State Constitution.  The State Constitution is intended to be the foundation of our laws and 'non-changeable'.  If you want something changed, the correct course of action is by law - not an amendment to the State Constitution.  Not that I want a law defining marriage either, but that would at least be the correct course of action for this.  The bottom line is that it is promoting government intrusion in personal lives, depriving a specific set of people their freedoms (this is pretty subterfuge for the word DISCRIMINATION!) and it is mixing religion and politics in our Constitution.

That all said... here's the kicker in the whole targeting parents strategy... writing a definition of marriage being one man and one woman is not going to suddenly change the reality of our society.  There are still going to be gay couples, there are still going to be books about same sex couples and your kids are going to meet other kids that have two mommies or two daddies regardless of whether this amendment passes or not.  This amendment is not going to 'save' your children from exposure to the dynamic of what our community is made up of.  They will, if they have not already, come into contact at some point in their lives with someone who is gay or related to someone who is gay.  Considering the population ratio - I'd be shocked if it is only one person.  

And here is my religion attack... how very UN-Christian to be passing judgement based on your churches interpretation of the Bible.  By promoting this amendment based on your religious principles you are saying that you have the right to stand in judgment of other people.  You don't.  You are merely a (wo)man.  Only God has that right.  How does the relationship of two strangers affect you personally? How is that an affront to your religious views? How does it change what you believe, how you believe or where you believe?  How does it affect your marriage?  It doesn't.  All of these things can remain strong and in tact because of your faith - irregardless of how another couple chooses to live their lives.

And here is the biggest kicker in this all that I hope people are asking themselves before they checkmark a box... if at some future date my child or grandchild, niece or nephew, cousin or sibling were to come to me and tell me they are gay how will I reconcile that with myself that I personally made certain that they were never able to marry the person they love.

You might be surprised by who in your life is gay and just unable to tell you.

Let's talk politics...

First... politics on Facebook... I've been disheartened by what I've been seeing on Facebook lately.  By the articles and news stories it seems that most of America is afflicted, not just my circle of connections.  A friend recently posted that she couldn't take all the negative, hateful words anymore and was going offline from Facebook until after the elections.  I was bummed by the thought of not having any regular interactions, as she is one of my daily peeps, but totally empathized with how she was feeling.  Rather than abiding by proper manners and etiquette, Facebook has empowered users to put at big 6 ft. sign in their front yard by means of cover/banner photos, profile photos and no pause to censor oneself on status updates.  Don't get me wrong, I have, and will continue to, post my political opinions, Like pages of specific politicians or causes, and RSVP for events for said politicians or causes that I believe in.  I'm an open book and not embarrassed by anyone knowing my views.  I will also readily engage in politic discussions.  The thing is, I do so in a respectful  manner that appreciates that everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  What has become of issue is the diatribes people are posting in which they accuse the party they aren't supporting as being evil, against our country, un-American, etc. and then go on to personally attack anyone that disagrees with them.  I've had friends threatening to unfriend other friends because they just can't believe the viewpoints said person has.  When did we become a society that values only one viewpoint.  I grew up believing that all people are different and each has a right to their own opinions.  I have many friends, and in-laws even, that have very, very different stances on some of the issues we are faced with voting on this year.  While I don't agree with them, I totally respect that they come to the booth with their own personal history, values and conscience.  That makes it okay.  We can disagree without it ending our relationship.  Seems to no longer be the case on FB.  I also believe that passion behind your beliefs is awesome, as long as you still respect that not everyone is the same and not vilify them for it.

Now let's talk about those actual 6 ft. signs.  Well, no...not really.  I have no issue with the 6 ft. signs.  A  friend actually has several in her front yard.  I completely disagree with a couple of them (particularly one that is an issue up for State Constitutional Amendment) but think she is a great location for it to be placed as it is in full view of the freeway.  I only hope she charged all the political parties that saw the amazing possibility her yard presents!  Little Miss Sassy Pants and I got into a heated discussion of this when she made the mistake of saying to me that the person was wrong.  I emphatically explained to her that it is absolutely ok to say that an issue is wrong, but not the person.  Every person has a right to their own view - no matter how warped and twisted we think it is.

And then there is the nastiness that surrounds the normal sized yard signs.  At a cross section where I get off the freeway after work daily, the political advocates have been placing signs.  Good location, well thought out.  Except then the shenanigans started up... it started with a Vote No sign being placed there.  Shortly after the Vote Yes sign was up and the Vote No was gone.  That didn't sit well with me.  Next day, Vote No was back up and Vote Yes had not been touched.  Then the Vote No sign was gone again.  This kinda ticked me off as it was obvious that Vote Yes was removing Vote No's sign.  Next day the Vote No was back and the Vote Yes was gone.  I was no longer ticked, I was now livid - the Vote No people had sunk to the Vote Yes people's underhanded dirty tricks.  Seriously... why can't we all have our viewpoints without the nastiness?  After several back and forth now it appears that both are gone.  I'm thinking it would be nice if it stays that way!

Finally, let's circle back around to the Facebook your party vs. my party issue that is going on.  This is really flippin' simple.  Stop thinking in a mentality of a two-party system.   As long as you think in that mentality, your only option is this guy or that guy.  Ugghh!  How sickening is that?  There are not only two parties.  There are not only two candidates.  There ARE other options.  I personally have been more aligned with the Libertarian party the past several voting spells.  And that is how I've voted - based on how I actually believe - not on the 'lesser of two evils' mentality.  That is so frickin' bogus.  And I've heard a thousand times over that I'm just throwing away my vote,  But here's the thing, I would rather vote by what I believe in and stand for, than align myself with someone that I don't.  Plus, we are never going to see the change in our system if we keep that mentality - that there are only two choices.  There will continue to only be 2 choices until America wakes up and says they are done with it by voting for candidates that are not Democrat or Republican.  Does that mean you/your guy may not win this election or even the next - yes, probably.  But by taking a stand and making the change, over time we WILL see a difference.  Our children will then be able to vote based on candidate, not based on a 2 'major' party system.  The Mahatma Gandhi quote "Be the change you want to see in the world" is splayed all over the place and it totally fits - BE the change you want to see in this world.  It is only if we change that then the system will also change - and our system IS broken.  Stop saying the quote and start living it.

I'm done... but Little Miss Sassy Pants has something to say on this too...

My Point

on Politics

Imagine a painting, that while standing several feet away is an expansive, beautiful landscape but when you step in a few steps becomes a jumble of different colored dots. This is the concept of pointillism, in which thousands or more small points come together to make the picture that people admire from afar.

America is that landscape painting that people are admiring; people from within and outside its borders. From a distance they, like the art critic, will see the overall picture, and like pointillism, when they look closer can see each individual person, or dot each a specific color and shade that add to the overall piece. Lately though, more and more of these dots are all the same two colors: red and blue, Republican and Democrat.

Without the many shades and hues of all the colors, a pointillist painting will never come together to look like anything other than dots jumbled together, and in the same way, America will never be a beautiful country without the many colors of people. If we accept the constraints of two parties, our views will never be correctly expressed by our leaders, and for the “land of the free”  and the “home of the brave”  that isn’t a good enough option.

We can make a better painting of America, but first, we must vary our colors, and branch out to the edge of our horizons till we find a better fit for our own opinions, because without the first step towards changing our color scheme from red and blue to the expanse of a rainbow we will never make it to that point. So, dig through the crayon box, look at all the colors this time...Slate, Tangerine, Magenta, Green, Libertarian, Independent, Constitution.., and together we can paint a better picture.

Dehydrate Me Please!

Mr. Happy has a new obsession.   It's my fault... I told him to do it!  It all started with my desire to have edible trees and bushes.  We started with planting 2 apple trees and a plum tree when we moved in 5 years ago.  That grew to a salsa garden (Mr. Happy makes the BEST salsa) of tomatoes, onions, jalapenos and cilantro the following summer.  Then the next summer we added blackberry, blueberry and raspberry bushes, several strawberry plants and numerous rhubarb plants.  Now we have all that and an herb garden.  I guess I just love edible greenery and thankfully Mr. Happy can make it all grow (I have no green thumb... mine is orange - the dead shade of orange that signifies you don't have a green thumb!)!  Yes... all this in a very suburban neighborhood.  Can you imagine what I'd have done if we'd stayed in Northern (rural) Minnesota with acreage?  Mr. Happy'd be a farmer by now - overalls and all!  Though that image isn't quite as sexy as the lumberjack one I have for him - all burly, stubbly and flannel like... Okay, okay... back to the story... So far, the apple trees and plum tree have only yielded enough fruit for our family to enjoy each fall.  Until this year... the plum tree and Sweet Sixteen remained contained in a size fit for our family (*sob* if something was going to explode it should have been the Sweet Sixteen - I LOVE that apple variety).  The Haralson apple tree, however, exploded.  Like really, really exploded.  The top picture is with over half of it's harvest already plucked from branches.  Which leads to Mr. Happy's new obsession.  After a visit to Mills Fleet Farm (you can take the boy to the city, but you can't take the rural out of the boy...), Mr. Happy was talking dehydration and vacuum sealers.  So, I innocently said that I thought it was a great idea as we will not be able to eat all those apples before they start rotting and the kids LOVE dehydrated fruits.  Silly, silly me for thinking it would stop at apples.  So far, we have skin off apples pre-treated with lime, skin on apples, skin off apples pre-treated with Fresh Fruit Produce Protector with and without cinnamon added - and this is for about 1/3 of what we picked off the tree when we harvested it about 10 minutes after I took the picture above.  There are 5 boxes of apples still sitting in my garage (next to all the cub scout popcorn which is making it really hard to park in there... doesn't Mr. Happy understand that the garage is for my car?) waiting to be stored or dehydrated.  Even so... Mr. Happy moved onto dehydrating his herb garden (I believe he froze half and dehydrated half).  Then started the big stuff... rather than buy dehydrated meals in the pretty tin foil-esque packs from REI that just need boiling water added to produce a spectacular camping meal... Mr. Happy is making us dehydrated meals for our upcoming Boundary Waters trip.  Item one is Sweet and Sour Chicken which requires dehydration of cooked chicken, pineapple, various vegetables (peppers, onion and I'm not even sure what else - it was just tray after tray after tray of items being dehydrated) and the sweet and sour sauce; item two is chili which is dehydration of meat, beans (ummm... we are dehydrating already hydrated beans?), tomatoes, and the tomato paste.  (bottom picture is cinnamon apple rings, chicken, onion, orange and red peppers and the sweet and sour sauce)  Hoping it is as tasty as those ones be buy at REI or the kids may revolt!  I'd hate to deal with mutiny in a canoe as there really is nowhere for Mr. Happy to escape to! It did not end here though... the pièce de résistance is when he used my Pampered Chef Cookie Press to make jerky. That is the point when my eye began to twitch!  Sorry dear loved ones, I will not be sending cookies this year!  I will never be using my Pampered Chef Cookie Press again... but we will have jerky in pumpkin shapes and christmas tree shapes... JOY!  All griping aside about... a great by-product of this month's 'Mr. Happy obsession' is that our home continually smells like a home-cooked meal (of which we've had none since Football and Cross Country season started!)!  Not quite sure if the dehydrator has negative effects on us like a microwave does... but it does seem like my skin is dryer and my sinuses are suffering.  But then... I'm a total hypochondriac, so I could just be imagining it!

Me, blogging? Really?

I've been told that I should blog.  I apparently have many opinions and provide others with much entertainment   Not sure if that's meant in a good way or not!  So, here we are... Life in the Shades of Orange universe.  Shades of Orange you say, why such a title?  Well... orange happens to be my favorite color, but then as life would have it... I have a kid with an anaphylactic allergy to Annatto - a natural colorant that changes cheese (among many (oh so many) other things) from white to orange.  So, rather than have his face swell up and the traumatic (for me) administering of epi-pens... we pretty much eat nothing orange any more.  Except for Doritos and Cheetos - as they are artificially colored.  Who'd have thought that 'all natural and organic' girl would suddenly be happy when she saw the word artificial!   My kid may end up with an extra limb... but he'll be alive!  Anyways... Annatto can also be the slight tinge of yellow in vanilla ice cream and butter or for a full on red (though Paprika is more commonly used for that).  There you have it... Shades of Orange (you know... yellow<-orange->red... get it yet?).  Thankfully I love to cook - which makes our house much, much safer!  Apparently, this allergy has also made me an incredibly bevy of information regarding the crap that is put in the foods we buy and how to look up ingredients online.  My husband wants me to write an app for the ingredients thing.  I think he believes in my ability to prosper a tad to much.  He's the dreamer, leader and entrepreneur   I'm the little worker bee that prefers someone else be in charge!  I had my stint in management and loved the mentoring side of it - hated the politics of it.  Office politics suck.  Political conversations about our government/candidates engage me.  Hmm...

So... for the intros... I've already established that I'm a mom who likes orange but can't eat it (except orange peppers (the bell variety not the habanero kind (although they are awfully cute) anymore - I was a spice aficionado in my youth (even had that awesomely cool poster of various kinds of chili peppers with spice rating) - as a mature adult... spice and zantac are always together)); I'm a mid-level worker bee (in the IT industry); I'm apparently very fond of run-on sentences (bite me you grammar police); I'm incredibly Type-A and my heroes are the likes of intelligence or rants - think Einstein meets Dennis Miller and Dennis Leary.  Yeah... I know... they really shouldn't go together in the same sentence; and I'm HORRIBLE at phrases (had the nickname Ace for years because I replaced 'my' for 'the' in the phrase Ace in THE hole).  For some period of time (during my haitus from the IT world to be a stay-at-home mom (sort of... I took part-time tele-commuting programming jobs a good portion of the time)), I wrote a local 'family friendly events' column for Examiner - but then I realized that making pennies wasn't worth it and it wasn't going to get me a career at a newspaper or in a Social Media or Blogging gig... so I got a real job, back in the IT world, and now punch a clock again. What else... I love to read and I love words - my favorite books, in fact, are the dictionary and thesaurus.  'nuf about me though... let's meet the family...

In the left corner, weighing in at... no, no, no.  My husband is in no way a fighter.  He has told me (and anyone who will listen (and watch) his (gregarious) storytelling, the story that he was once in a bar fight with friends in which they pre-decided who had what guy.  My dh ('dear husband' for you internet challenged folk) took his guy to the bar for a beer while everyone else duked it out!  So, I think we will call him Mr. Happy (yes... yes...  I am totally stealing from the Roger Hargreaves book series!).  I suppose I could have picked Mr. Perfect, but then we'd have to deal with his Mr. Ego other self.  So, Mr. Happy is a higher level sales/marketing guy for a vaccine company.  NO... I will not tell you which vaccine company.  He's athletic, sometimes in an obsessive way, having competed in triathlons and now avidly playing lacrosse while still cross-training (but not competing).  He loves to do things for our kids - he coaches their sports teams (football, basketball, lacrosse), is a Cubscout Master and volunteers for Boy Scout outings.  He also loves to torture them with his love of outdoors and sports by regularly making our weekends active and full (the man can not rest... he absolutely, positively has to be doing something always - me, notsomuch... the kids and I are more than happy to plop in front of the tube and watch something stupid!).  He eternally believes in positivism (glass half full... ugh...) and even has stupid voicemail messages like 'Smile and you will make someone else smile'.  Gag!  Makes me wanna punch him right in the grinning... no, not really - that would come across like I support domestic violence.  And I don't.  Mr. Happy is awesome (when he's not annoyingly happy), intelligent, funny (in a goofy way and sometimes annoying ham-like way), good around the house and sexy.  Simply put, a keeper - so... you can't have him!

Our oldest, Little Miss Sassy Pants (yes... I know that isn't really a Little Miss book, but she fits the title so I'm keeping it!), is technically my step-daughter (Ack! That would make me the evil step-mother... a fact that her real mom has tried to manufacture for years but keeps failing at... epic-ly).  I met Mr. Happy and Little Miss Sassy Pants when she was two and from the very beginning we just connected.  She's now a teen and in high school and I think we are even better now than we were when she was little.  That, or she has me very snowed!  Seriously though, she is amazing and made me believe that I was a really, really good parent (then her brother's came along and all illusions have been destroyed) because of how amazing she is.  She's also beautiful - inside and out.  Just like the Bruno Mars song - she's perfect just the way she is.

 4 years younger than Little Miss Sassy Pants, Mr. Chatterbox came along and dominated our world.  We used to fight about who's baby he was - mine or Little Miss Sassy Pants.  He's hyper and witty and funny talented.  He's our middle-child and a middle-schooler, but never middle of the road.  Much like his mama (that'd be me) he is one extreme or another.  He's a groovy saxaphone player, a runner and an xc skier and has played lacrosse since first grade (I blame him for Mr. Happy's current monetary and time obsession).  He's my mini-me, which is really cool but also at times incredibly frustrating as we can be the best of friends or worst of enemies.  Fortunately Mr. Happy's around for tag-team parenting when Mr. Chatterbox and I start to verbally spar!  Recently he introduced me as a freak (because I like comic books) and a geek (because I work in computers).  Nice, eh?  He is definitely the child that is going to break me... but I look forward to every single moment of it!

And then came Mr. Cheerful.  He's smarter than the rest of us (and we are afraid, very very afraid), incredibly articulate and a total charmer (a chip of the old man's block) - he is Mr. Happy's mini-me.  He's the kid with the allergy (ironic that Mr. Cheerful is orange, is it not?) and the most mature of us all in handling it (mama's a wreck... Mr. Cheerful's got it all under control).  He's finding his way in the world trying to not be compared to his sister or his brother.  He is still at the elementary, but not for long.  He plays football, basketball and lacrosse.  He's still my cuddle-bug, but won't admit it to anyone.  He is a thinker, and when he speaks you know that it's been well-thought out and deliberate in his approach.  He is incredibly empathetic and reminds us to be civil and loving when the rest of us are acting poorly.  Which we are, acting poorly, often - we are a family of talkers, and interrupters, and sometimes quite obnoxious.  

While he hasn't ever lived with us, I can't introduce the family without introducing Mr. Cool (yes... I know blue is not a shade of orange, but just run with it, okay? Brown would have been just too drab for Mr. Cool!).  He's my adult step-son who I also claim as mine.  Thankfully his real mom thinks that's a good thing.  I totally adore and love his real mom and think that if I'm even a fraction like her then I'm in a good place.  Mr. Cool hangs out with us about once a month - he's clear on the other side of the metro and in his early 20's - so he's busy being 20-something which translates to working then hanging out and being cool with his friends.  We love when he hangs out with us and have come to figure out what bait to dangle to peak his interest - boating, camping, disc golf playing, bonfires and seems to be okay with board game nights too.  And... he appears to love my cooking.  Either that or he's figured out how to dangle bait in front of me too! *grin*

And there we have it... welcome to Shades of Orange.  Don't expect anything spectacular... I'll focus on allergies, our lives in a blender (get it... blended family - lives in a blender?), ranting about this then ranting about that and then some more ranting!   Mostly this will just be a place to share more about our lives with our extended family because they just don't get enough of it on Facebook. Enjoy!