Far Far Away from My Heart

It's been a while since I was feeling ranty.  I've said that before. When I 'disappeared' before.  I have mini-outbursts (often! Poor Mr. Happy gets to hear them all), but not anything that needed to get out, to get onto paper (so to say).  But, (in the reworkings of some BoDeans lyrics) -

this feelings coming on again

it's kicking, screaming deep inside me

I'm so tired of fighting with myself

so I pour another drink... 

Oh, wait... that last line has nothing to do with writing.  Or maybe, really, it does ;)  

A few things have transpired in the time that I haven't been writing:

1. Mr. Happy said we will never get the lake house I want if I don't finish a book.  Since I am still massively affected by writer's block (which translates as hatred of all content thus far and a crushing stupidity of needing to be brilliant instead of just needing to write - thank you Facebook status posts and Twitter tweets for ruining my writing abilities!), I've decided that daily writing of something is necessary rather than just avoiding the whole issue of undesirable content and a blandness that has enveloped my life.  And by something, I do not mean the length of a witty FB post or diatribe that has been my only venue of recent days (months...)...
2. I've watched a couple movies lately that have motivated me to be inspired again (to be clear, I just said... motivated me to be inspired, not actually inspired). Mr. Nobody for it's take on the multiple paths in life we can take - I've always been fascinated by this, which is in part why I think I loved the book One by Richard Bach so much, so many years ago, when I read it the first time.  As a teen, I had a poster of a girl at a fork in the road with signs that said something about the path taken and the path not no longer being an option.  Can't remember it's exacts - the point was just that the multiple options we have in life has always intrigued me. Plus, I've got Jared Leto obsession going right now and he's in the movie.  Stuck in Love wasn't necessarily a great movie, but I really liked it and the measures of writing daily, of experiencing life and of loving deeply struck a cord with me. Enemy is one of the weirdest damn movies I've seen in a while - but the twisted lucid dream-like state of the thing brought me back to a time period when I was reading guys like Kafka and Sartre.  Or maybe I just thought it was a schizophrenia thing and liked the concept and bizarre imagery.  Watch the movie and you decide. Regardless, it was a movie that made me think - what am I doing?  I still have freaky dreams but I do nothing with them.  I still have brilliance surface once in a while but I do nothing with it.  People are making art, following their ideas, doing something.  I'm a glorified data junkie, making muffins and picking my kids up from activities.  No art resides here anymore.  That's kind of sad.  Like I said... a blandness has enveloped my life.
3. I've reconnected with music recently.  Music has always been a major influence on my life, my moods, my 'me'.  While I've fallen in love with some amazing voices and enjoyed a few songs - none have inspired my obsession lately.  And I love being obsessed by a band or singer - I love music that moves and affects me, not that I just like or enjoy.  In comes Thirty Seconds to Mars.  I'd heard a couple songs by them during their This is War album time period but hadn't really delved into them - then an article appeared online about the actor/musician cross-over.  Hello Jared Leto - you have a band?  Even more shocked, you have a band that I knew of.  So I started listening to more songs and liked the music.  Flash forward a few months and they are coming to town. Started listening to the newest album (Love Lust Faith +Dreams) and a daily obsession began for me and for my family as I felt the need to infuse the music into their lives since I wanted to go hear the band live.  I simply love Jared Leto's voice, love the lyrics, love the passion in the music, love the sound of the instruments, sometimes behind/sometimes in the forefront, of the songs.   I'm not a fan of their very first album and only like a few songs from the second (A Beautiful Lie) - but This is War and LLFD are amazing.  I cannot help myself but to play it very loud, with the top down on the convertible, singing at the top of my lungs.  It's put me in a pretty darn good mood lately. The added plus to this is that Mr. Chatterbox and Little Miss Sassy Pants loves them too - I love us enjoying the same music.  I think Mr. Happy and Mr. Cheerful are tired of the repeat play, but they will live - it makes me happy. *grin*
4. And then I started watching the music videos and peeled back a few more layers of Jared Leto content as a director (Bartholomew Cubbins), a photographer, an activist, a promoter, etc.  Oh, and Mr. Nobody, the movie I mentioned above.  Which leads into the Jared Leto obsession. You simply need to see Artifact.  It is appalling to me what I learned about labels (the record companies) and how artists get paid (of course, countered by the fact that we are just seeing one perspective of it (heaven forbid I not see, or point out, the reality of all situations)).  Or more to the point - what they don't get paid on... their albums.  It gives me a new understanding for why concert ticket prices are so darn high.  You also need to check out VyRT.  It is the beta stages of a social experience with musicians that Jared Leto created (or maybe just thought of - I don't think he's the technology behind it, just think he's the vision and push behind it).  Seeing what he is doing there combined with watching Artifact and witnessing his FB posts, tweets, instagram uploads, etc. to be connected with his fans (Echelon!) - I have a great respect for what he is doing, as an artist, to promote the band, his causes, and himself.  He is setting the bar high for musicians to establish a relationship with their listeners and I'm excited to see where VyRT goes as it transforms from a 30STMs platform to a venue for other artists. He's also tweeted about music he's listening to which has put me onto the singer Banks who also has a very haunting sound and songs I'm intrigued by.  That right there is the power to influence and I hope to see musicians that I like share more of what they like. Anyways, learning more about Jared Leto and seeing what he has done has also motivated me to be inspired.  Like he seems to be.  I want that drive and passion back in myself.
5. I've been someone else lately. With all the 'positive is a choice you make', criticism I've spent a life time hearing about my personality and self-help about being a better person that circulates the web and at work, I've been shoving so much down inside rather than getting it out that I think I'm going to burst.  I've been trying so hard to always do the right thing, not say what pops in my head (having a filter is sooooo exhausting) and play nicely with others.   I've been trying to be a positive person instead of my pessimistic, realist, negative self.  I'm kinda done with that.  You know what? If being positive is a choice I make in every situation then all you happy people can also chose to be realistic or chose to have a negative reaction to something - just the same as I do.  But you don't, because what comes naturally to you is positive.  What comes naturally to me is cynicism, skeptical instincts and dark twistiness.  That said... even being all that - I actually am happy.  Ranting makes me happy.  Being a realist makes me happy. My husband and kids make me happy.  It isn't a choice to be positive or negative - we are who we are so stop trying to make me you!  A recent FB challenge really brought it to home for me - I was challenged to write three positive things a day for 5 days.  Here is how my first day went: 1) I think it is fantastic that some people are happy, early-risers as they are the coffee makers for the remaining 76% of us.  2) I do not fart rainbows and unicorns. This is actually a very positive thing-can you really imagine hyper-spaz me on happy dust?  3) The apocalypse has not happened, therefore I get to live and breath another day. Wait... This one might not wholly count as positive *grin*.  Day 2 started with this: 1) I drove home without yelling at anyone to learn the zipper merge.  See where I'm going here?  This is me on positive.  I'll say it again... stop trying to make me you - I'm quite happy with me how I am.  (Or at least right this moment as I'm typing this; I will go back to my self-hatred after the euphoria of my daily writing pledge wears off).
6. A rude email this morning worked as a catalyst to make me want to rant and retaliate but societal constraints prevented me from actually sending the well crafted response that I had.  I hate deleting good content.  So, while I couldn't hit send, I can blog *grin*  It will be it's own blog post shortly (or maybe tomorrow, I think I've hit the time limit on my daily allotted requirement to write, journal, rant or be creative in some way). 
7. I miss baking.  It was a cathartic way for me to feel good about something I can do.  It will be part of my expressive outlet, not just writing daily.  So I might share some recipes. Or I might not.  That's one of the books that never got finished... a recipe book that started during the time frame that Mr. Cheerful went gluten-free.  He is now back on a normal diet and food allergy free (he still has a couple meds that have an anaphylactic reaction that we will not even think about challenging - avoidance is far safer).  So I can breath again (no fear can do that for you - seriously, if someone accidentally feeds my child medicine then he shouldn't have been with them in the first place...).  Which makes me want to bake, and write, again.  But that is a post of it's own, as well, that I am not writing today.
8. I have a very personal issue/fear that I faced recently and have to face again in the very near future that has affected my heart, my thoughts and my energy.  It makes me want to get shit out, say what I want to say and be who I am.  Life is so very, very short so why do I keep waiting to live mine until after the kids do this or that.  I need to redefine what it is I want for my life and then sculpt it into the life that we as a family have.  How can I tell my kids to live to their fullest if the example I'm setting is to sacrifice everything I want for someone else?  In the words of 30STM... it's time to Do or Die (except that is one of my least favorite songs - so that we are all on the same page about it...)

So... here I am.  Back for a while, ranting along.  A friend told me to know who my audience is for this blog.  Well, frankly, it's me and, hopefully, my family.  So, I hope you enjoy the ride if you are following along for it will not be focused to a single topic or premise - it will be whatever pops in my head at any given moment that I feel the need to get out because I'm actually inspired or societal norms won't let me do it where I want to (email, verbally, etc.).  Gloves off, not afraid to hurt anyone's feelings, deal with it... that'll be me, on here, for a while.  Maybe. *grin*

I think I'm going to vomit

Dear Movie Producers:

Stop pandering to kids as they can neither pay for their own tickets or go to the movies by themselves.  What you've added with the 3D element does not make the movie better.  A good storyline would though.  And for those of us that need to watch it in 2D... the blatant 3D elements - like a big huge nose coming toward the screen - don't impress either.  Seriously... I'm watching a movie in 2D and an animals big huge nose comes into a huge close-up across the screen.  Really?  That was necessary?  Not in 2D it isn't, but because you made this movie with 3D viewers only in mind - you've ruined it for those of us that aren't watching it in that venue.

The thing is... 3D makes me want to vomit. I've talked to a lot of other adults and it makes them nausea or have a headache too. It is, apparently, an actual medical issue called Cyber Sickness that is a form of, but in the reverse of, Motion Sickness.  Yikes... some other ailment to add to my list of freakishness!  Basically, what happens is that the image on the screen causes the eyes to send a signal to the brain that you are moving, but the fluid in your inner ear does not detect a change in the body's movement.  The signals from the eyes and the ears to the brain conflict causing nausea.

St. Peter's College in Jersey City, N.J. is actually studying Cyber Sickness and have a device called the Vominator.  Seriously... there is a study going on about the effects of 3D on people and they call a device used in studying it the Vominator.  That right there is reason to stop producing 3D movies.

Even Roger Ebert, an 'esteemed' movie critic hates 3D!

So please, go back to making movies for the people who are paying for them.  I don't need my kids whining to please, please, please to get to go to the more expensive, vomit-inducing 3D version of every film you produce!  Let's have some quality instead of cheap tricks!  And if you can't resist the urge to make it 3D, how about a revised 2D version that doesn't have all the gimmicky 3D in-your-face moments?

Put Your Shirt ON

Why is it that guys would think we want to see them with their shirts off?  Unless you are totally buff, the only one who enjoys seeing you with your shirt off is your significant other.  And then, still, maybe not so much.  I'm just sayin'...

There is no end to the grossness that ensues when driving home on a sunny summer day to see yard after yard of icky, sweaty, shirtless, blubbery guys.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you or that you need to lose weight - as that isn't what I think... I think that God gave us each unique body shapes and we need to do right by them (exercise, portion control) but still enjoy life and be comfortable by what we are and not judge our bodies based on the anorexic, over-steroid-ed media touted version of perfection.  So, no... I'm not saying lose weight.  I am saying though - put your flippin' shirt on!  Why do you need to take it off?  Women aren't mowing the lawn with our shirts off - though I would love to not have hot, drippy, clinging clothes when mowing in the heat.  It would be waaaayyyy more comfortable.  But you will  not see an emergence of naked female mowing in my cul-de-sac.  Thankfully - as I'm an icky, sweaty, blubbery gal when mowing.  So keep your shirts on and stop making us have to watch!

Reversed Discrimination

Recently one of my cousins posted a picture of a white male WWII veteran who'd been beaten by two black males on FB with a statement wondering why we aren't outraged by this. I was quick to respond as this is a topic that has been bugging me often since starting back to work 3 years ago that I'm seeing not just in the workplace but in society as a whole.  No one is outraged over the WWII vet because the pic isn't circulating and the media isn't picking it up for one simple reason.  We don't care about white males. Nor do employers. In the guise of diversity, 'we' only care if someone is a minority through race, religion or sexual orientation. The rest can bugger off. Lovely state of affairs isn't it? And this is from a someone who in the 90's was a white, jewish woman (total minority) hitting the glass ceiling... you'd think I'd be advocating for the equality that should exist - well, I am.  Equality should exist.  For all.  I think we've gone way to far to the other side where reverse-discrimination prevails.  I work at a place that is so determined to be anti-racism that they've actually become the complete opposite.  There is a mentality at my work that the only way to get hired or a promoted is if you are not a white male.  2nd in line to be passed on is a white woman unless she has some form of 'minority' that can be tapped into such as religion or sexual orientation.  Which employers shouldn't even know anyways.  That said, an ordinary white woman still has a much better chance at being hired or promoted than a white man.  It's not just where I work... I've talked to white male friends who have commented that there is no chance they would get a promotion even if they had seniority in years and better work performance.  Minorities can make clubs and events that exclude those that are not of the same minority but we would definitely hear outrage if there was a club of white males that excluded those that were not the same.  To be clear... I am not advocating a club for white males only I think that would be just as bogus as all the minority clubs currently circulating.  I also want to be clear, since I have previous posts advocating equal rights, that I do see where an inequality exists (such as marriage previously in Minnesota) and completely, 100%, believe in equal rights for all regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation.  Believing in equality is why I'm disparaged by the inequality that is starting to prevail in the name of equality.  Equality means all are judged or treated the same based on their own accomplishments or actions, not on their race, religion or sexual orientation.  Is there a prevalence of minorities being passed over or ignored? I can easily say that there used to be - but I'm not so sure about that any more.  Being a plain, white female, I can't presume to truly know what barriers still exist in the workplace.  But I do wonder.  

Back to the picture though... why aren't we outraged?  Why isn't this circulating? Firstly, this crime hasn't been classified as a hate crime.  Neither was the story of a couple that were kidnapped and tortured.  We aren't outraged by ordinary violence and mayhem.  Something sensational has to happen around it.  No one is picketing or speaking out.  Crime happens multiple times daily.  Another interesting statement about our society today...  we've all desensitized ourselves to it.  But... we are totally interested in what the latest celeb is doing.  Really?  Who cares about narcissistic media hounds.  Really... you have to be somewhat narcissistic to want a life in the public eye.  I believe that every politician and celebrity has a very narcissistic ego.  They'd have to to purposely submit themselves to that life.  And we should thank them for it as they provide us the entertainment we are looking for.  But... I've wander off topic again.  Back to the picture... we should be outraged.  We should be outraged about the 'normality' of crimes, we should be outraged that people care more about a sensational story or reality TV show than the multiple crimes that occurred that day, we should be outraged by a society that is apathetic.  We should be outraged whether the victim is white being perpetrated by black or a black by white; a man being beaten by a woman should get as much time in the public as a woman beaten by a man (and by this I do not mean in self-defense... there is domestic violence against men, just the same as women, that we never see - but that is a whole different rant).  There should be an equal amount of media attention regardless of race, sex, religion or sexual orientation and we should have an equal amount of rage regardless of the victim or perpetrators.  I'll say it again America... we should have an equal amount of rage over this!

Food Trucks Beware: this allergy mama is headed your way!

Mr. Cheerful and I are thinking of going to a local festival that has my favorite ice cream place - Izzy's in St. Paul and Food Trucks.  I have a long standing love of both.  Izzy's is amazing in their flavor selection, quality, ease of ingredient information and friendliness when asking for said ingredients!  And food trucks, while grossly over-priced, have AMAZING food and it's just fun to walk up to one and order! *grin*  No idea why that pleases me so much!

So... anyways... back to the festival... I mean seriously... ice cream and food trucks - was there ever a question?  Mr. Cheerful cinched up the deal when we were talking about that we'd want to do off times for the food trucks because we'd have to ask about ingredients and he said

 "just because I have an allergy shouldn't mean that I don't get to do food trucks".  

BAM!  What an awful mom I have been - this one simple statement made me realize that I rave on and on and on about food trucks but have never taken him to one.  Why haven't I taken him to one?  Welcome to the world of being an allergy mom...  if my child eats annatto, a natural colorant - his lips swell up exponentially and the potential that I will have to epi him is increased every time he has a reaction.  Since he's already been epi'd and rushed to the ER, it isn't something I want to see as 'worse' next time.  My diligence since we were finally able to identify what the allergen was (the aforementioned evil natural colorant annatto), he has not had a single re-occurrence.  Thankfully - as Mr. Happy had a couple of accidental ingestion episodes early on and last year at a large gathering picnic there was a miscommunication that resulted in Mr. Cheerful eating a dish that had been brought but not ingredient checked - fortunately it turned out there was no annatto in any of the components.  But... back to over-diligence on my watch... I've dealt with the whole eating out-ingredient thing by calling in advance.  I have Mr. Cheerful look at the menu to decide what he will want and then I call and ask about the components.  When we aren't able to call in advance, we do the wait while the waitress checks on whatever it is that Mr. Cheerful wants (or might eat off someone else's plate) before we do any ordering.  Makes eating out with other families, who don't understand, a total nightmare!  Thankfully we've surrounded ourselves with compassionate and empathetic families so our friends seem to be pretty understanding - so far.  Honestly, I can't imagine being friends with someone who was so self-absorbed that having to check a life-threatening allergy would be an issue though.  But back to the original point of the blog... calling on a food truck in advance is a tad bit difficult as part of the joy in food trucks is that spontaneous decision on which one to eat at.  I suppose that I could call all of them that I know will be at the event in advance - but really?  That's a bit overboard and I'm not one of those kinda moms...  The thing is though, me being diligent about all this has a boat load of anxiety attached.  The what-ifs... what if they mess up on their ingredient check, what if he can't get what he wants then he's disappointed, what if we are putting someone out, what if there is a long line and people get frustrated waiting, what if, what if, what if!  The one that really is the stress-er though is the accidental consumption.  The fear of my child dying because someone made a mistake is awful.  However, I know that I am naturally a doom see-er, so I try to not let it paralyze me.  Ask Mr. Happy - a total worrier about stuff that will never happen is what he will tell you about me.

So... this bad mom is going to stuff her fear deep down inside and correct the sheltered youth that my child has lived by not eating at a food truck! He sounds sheltered and deprived, right?  I can't imagine a kid going through life not eating at a food truck!  So... we will look for off times when there is little to no line and then hope that the person in the truck is cool with checking on ingredients for us.  So beware St. Paul Food Trucks - an allergy mom is headed your way!

Child Care Union

During my hiatus from feeling like writing (that dark murky place I went to where nothing seemed funny) I had bursts of ranty-ness surface.  

Yes, I just made up ranty-ness.  I like it so just run with it, okay?  Fantabulous makes me happy too.  This post isn't about the dictionary (one of my favorite books by the way) so let's not discuss my word-making-upping.  Made that one up too...

The following exchange occurred in May and still makes me giggle at Mr. Happy's response.  So... feeling not so energetic as to come up with my own, new rant today - I'm stealing from my own old rant in May and then expanding on it today...

In early May, Mr. Happy got an email from a one of our state senators about the day care unionization bill and forwarded it to me asking what my thoughts were on it.  Here is what I wrote:

I think it is bullshit for daycare providers to be defined as state workers.  I also have some issue with them unionizing since there is not a need for union to assist in contract negotiations with businesses for the rights of the the members/workers and the 'workers' are self employees day care providers doing business with individuals.  This pissed me off.  Those are my thoughts on this!  I feel a blog coming on...

Mr. Happy's response, which makes me giggle every time I read it:

Ok, and what are your real thoughts, don't hold back. 

He cracks me!

So, unfortunately even that was not enough to get me back to blogging then, but I am working on it now. And boy, I really do have a potty mouth when I'm fired up!

Since this little exchange between Mr. Happy and I, Governor Dayton has signed SF 778 into a law.  The interesting thing is, the few people I know that are daycare providers don't want this and aren't happy about it and say that no one they know is lobbying for it.  The biggest concerns I'm hearing is that they are self employed and the union turns them into state employees (which validated my initial response to Mr. Happy) and that the only way to avoid being part of the union is to not take in any CCAP families - but this then limits the options for those families and having State money is a lot more stable income than self-paying families.

Obviously, my exposure to this is limited to a few people with similar mindset.  But looking at the movement online against it and articles citing a predominant base of Child Care providers being against it, I have to ask - why exactly was this law put in place.  If it does not benefit those that are actually affected by it then it is political agenda, not the people's voice.

And, admittedly, I'm a tad tainted on union involvement due to my own experiences as a government employee forced to be in a union and what I've witnessed in this particular union creating a negative impact on work ethic - which sucks as that is not what a well formed and correctly run union does.  A well formed and correctly run union benefits it's members but doesn't excuse their misbehavior.

Very curious to hear what others think about the formation of the Child Care Union, as like I said... I only actually know a few people truly affected by this.

Sports Intensity

WARNING: This post has some not pleasant language.  I'm feeling surly about this topic and my potty mouth has surfaced...  If it will offend you then don't read it.

My kids are average. No delusions here. They might get some scholarship money for college and even possibly play college sports (okay, maybe I am a tad delusional) - but scouts aren't going to be visiting and offering us cars and they aren't going pro (though that would be awesome as then Mr. Chatterbox would love his mama again, well, at least when any national cameras were around).  As long as they have good grades, our boys participate in a sport a season.  They also participate in Scouts and Church programs and Mr. Cheerful takes drum lessons.  Little Miss Sassy Pants does brainy but cool and kind of expressive extra-curriculars like Book Club and Newspaper, and no longer does sports, so that's why we are just talking about the boys - she is not being excluded in any way.  As such, we have to find balance between the activities.  Most other parents I talk to are in the same boat - trying to find balance for activities of multiple kids in multiple things (which are not always the same) and having to make choices on which things to miss when there are conflicts.  Should my kids not be in sports ever because there might be a scout camping trip resulting in a practice or game missed?  Should my kids not be in scouts because there might be a game that conflicts with a troop or den meeting?  What about when I have to get them to places on opposite ends of town at the same time on a night when Mr. Happy is out of town - should they just not go if I can't find a ride for them instead of showing up 5-10 minutes late? Really - is 5-10 minutes late that awful vs. not being there at all?   Remember, we are talking about 10 and 12 year olds.  We aren't even talking about high school sports - these boys are elementary and middle school aged.  And I haven't even started my rant... so here goes:

• parent's who are stay-at-home or teachers with the summer off - knock it off... the rest of us don't have your life and the bar you've set is too darn high for us to meet it.  We get it... you don't have anything else in your life so you take this sport very serious.  You are never late, you never miss a practice and there is never anything other than this sport so nothing gets in the way of being here.  I can't stand these parents.  The ones that sports is their life and they make it their kids life and they don't get that other people don't feel the same way. And the thing is, their kid isn't going pro either.   They also expect you to figure it out no matter what and accept no excuses and usually don't have the extenuating circumstances like a traveling spouse or health issues. The thing is... why am I even having to explain myself to you - it's none of your flippin' business!!!  Life is hard.  I'm really happy for you that your's isn't but leave me and mine alone!  Let's be clear here though... I know several parents who are stay-at-home or teachers that don't act this way - so I am not saying this is a trait of all stay-at-home or teacher parents... I'm saying the ones that act superior and make my attendance or dedication their business need someone to knock them off that pedestal.  
• how about the coaches that bench kids at games who didn't come to practice?  Again... not talking about high school.  We are talking about elementary and middle school aged kids on teams that are patch-worked together with primarily volunteer parents coaching.  If you are on the high school team with a paid coach - yes I guess that I expect that coach to be a dick at times (although we will see when my boys get to high school how well I do at watching them get yelled at as my tolerance level now is pretty much nilch and I'm a tad over-protective so I'm really not sure what a few years is going to change on that, but we'll chat about that when we get there...) but at this age level - seriously... stop being an asshat!  Watching my kid sit on the sideline watching an entire game because he wasn't at practice the week prior due to a health condition out of his control does very little for me.  I get it - we are trying to teach them commitment to the game and the team and it does matter that they go to practice, not just the games, but if a kid didn't make practice it wasn't because he just didn't want to go.  It's because something else was going on, the kids was sick  or injured, or there is some extenuating issue.  I do not know a single parent that would accept the excuse out of their kid that they just don't want to go.  And seriously, if I - THE PARENT - is making the choice for my child to not be there (and again - that would not be for just not wanting to go) then who are you to punish my kid for a decision I made FOR them??? More than that... at this age it should be about building a love of the sport and equal playtime for all kids.  If you are stacking your roster and only playing kids that will make you win then you should not be coaching this age level.  
• having my kid yelled at for being late.  This one really ticks me off.  You are yelling at someone who has no control over their schedule and cannot drive themselves.  You don't know why they are late and you don't know if it was the kids fault or the parents fault.  If my kid isn't ready to go when it is time and he is late - I've already yelled at him in the car on the way there. But if that wasn't it... if he's late because of the parent, then what is your yelling going to accomplish other than make him feel bad for something he couldn't control?   You don't know the circumstances... maybe this kid was at the door or in the car with all his gear ready to go at the right time to get there on time or even early but the parent had to deal with something.  As a coach, if you see a consistent problem, then connect with the parent(s) to find out what is going on, to see if everything is ok, see if they need help or at a minimum get an understanding of what is going on.  What you don't do is yell at the kid in front of all the other kids when again (sounding like a broken record now) at this age they have no control over their schedule and they can not drive themselves but don't yell at the kid.  And certainly don't yell at them the first time it's ever happened - that isn't a pattern... that's a fact of life happening!  I do want to say my little mantra again though... these kids have no control over their schedule and they can not drive themselves.  No, really... did you hear me???  CHILDREN HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER OVER THEIR SCHEDULES AND THEY CAN NOT DRIVE THEMSELVES.   Did the yelling help?  No, of course it didn't.
• a parent sniping that if you can't get your kid there to use carpools but not offering to be one.  Really? I had a situation here recently where there were a couple grueling weeks of an extensive travel schedule for Mr. Happy during which I was relocated for work to the other side of the Metro, had exhausted my list of 'get help from other parents for ride's' and wanted to actually attend a game to see how awesomely average my kid was but couldn't find the field resulting in us being late - a parent who barely knows me has the audacity to tell me to use carpools!  Admittedly - I did not handle this well - I responded that it was so awesome that they were offering to carpool for all the other parents even though I knew that was not in any way what they were saying or meant. It was effective though - the conversation ended.  Like still... this person avoids me - so sometimes it is good to say what you are thinking.  Just not usually for me - so I won't mistake this one success for becoming a lifelong habit.  Thought that would be so wickedly cool if I could just start making all my snarky comments out loud instead of just in my head!
• the loud mouths on the sidelines that think they know the game better than the coach or the refs.  Really?  If you did then why didn't YOU volunteer to coach?  Why are you helping at practices when you can?  The coaches are doing their best and the refs are doing their best.  You aren't.  You are being an annoying whiner how just needs to shut your mouth.  This is bad, bad, bad sportsmanship that you are modeling.  Keep it clean and keep it positive.  Root the team on - loud and obnoxious is good if you are positive.  You can even be yelling at your boys to get to the ball first or stay on their guy (I'm faltering a little here as the majority of the time I am lost at sporting events and just repeating what Mr. Happy has said so I know it sounds good...) but don't yell at the coaches or refs to pay attention.  Don't yell at the boys to 'wake up' because the other team is 'creaming' them.  That would in absolutely no way motivate me so I can guarantee you it isn't going to motivate these boys.  Actually, that's a lie.  It does motivate me to wish that it was acceptable in society to punch morons.  Fortunately I'm a wimp and a weakling so we have no concerns that I'm ever going to go postal on anyone *grin*
• I have more, but I think I've made my point that people are taking youth sports way, way, way too serious. 

In all this, I do have to say - I, as a parent, benefit greatly from my kids being in sports because the majority of parents or coaches are not like the few bullet points I put above (I have more bullet points I could have done, so I really could potentially rant about this again later... that was probably foreshadowing for those that didn't catch it) and the social aspect for parents in sporting kids is AWESOME.  I love being on the sidelines with the majority of the other parents.  And our family has been quite lucky in having some coaches in the boys lives that are just totally and completely into the sport themselves in a positive way making the season a wonderful experience that has my boys wanting to come back again next year.

And... I do have to admit, in all the balance that I have to achieve - I could not muster it without the amazing support of some pretty awesome people in my life.  Whether it is from giving a ride, keeping me updated or being an ear for my vent... my support system  is an amazing, uplifting thing.  Even the ones who I rarely get to see.  But now we are migrating into the topic of friendships and how to maintain them and this rant was about parents who take sports too intensely!