Far Far Away from My Heart

It's been a while since I was feeling ranty.  I've said that before. When I 'disappeared' before.  I have mini-outbursts (often! Poor Mr. Happy gets to hear them all), but not anything that needed to get out, to get onto paper (so to say).  But, (in the reworkings of some BoDeans lyrics) -

this feelings coming on again

it's kicking, screaming deep inside me

I'm so tired of fighting with myself

so I pour another drink... 

Oh, wait... that last line has nothing to do with writing.  Or maybe, really, it does ;)  

A few things have transpired in the time that I haven't been writing:

1. Mr. Happy said we will never get the lake house I want if I don't finish a book.  Since I am still massively affected by writer's block (which translates as hatred of all content thus far and a crushing stupidity of needing to be brilliant instead of just needing to write - thank you Facebook status posts and Twitter tweets for ruining my writing abilities!), I've decided that daily writing of something is necessary rather than just avoiding the whole issue of undesirable content and a blandness that has enveloped my life.  And by something, I do not mean the length of a witty FB post or diatribe that has been my only venue of recent days (months...)...
2. I've watched a couple movies lately that have motivated me to be inspired again (to be clear, I just said... motivated me to be inspired, not actually inspired). Mr. Nobody for it's take on the multiple paths in life we can take - I've always been fascinated by this, which is in part why I think I loved the book One by Richard Bach so much, so many years ago, when I read it the first time.  As a teen, I had a poster of a girl at a fork in the road with signs that said something about the path taken and the path not no longer being an option.  Can't remember it's exacts - the point was just that the multiple options we have in life has always intrigued me. Plus, I've got Jared Leto obsession going right now and he's in the movie.  Stuck in Love wasn't necessarily a great movie, but I really liked it and the measures of writing daily, of experiencing life and of loving deeply struck a cord with me. Enemy is one of the weirdest damn movies I've seen in a while - but the twisted lucid dream-like state of the thing brought me back to a time period when I was reading guys like Kafka and Sartre.  Or maybe I just thought it was a schizophrenia thing and liked the concept and bizarre imagery.  Watch the movie and you decide. Regardless, it was a movie that made me think - what am I doing?  I still have freaky dreams but I do nothing with them.  I still have brilliance surface once in a while but I do nothing with it.  People are making art, following their ideas, doing something.  I'm a glorified data junkie, making muffins and picking my kids up from activities.  No art resides here anymore.  That's kind of sad.  Like I said... a blandness has enveloped my life.
3. I've reconnected with music recently.  Music has always been a major influence on my life, my moods, my 'me'.  While I've fallen in love with some amazing voices and enjoyed a few songs - none have inspired my obsession lately.  And I love being obsessed by a band or singer - I love music that moves and affects me, not that I just like or enjoy.  In comes Thirty Seconds to Mars.  I'd heard a couple songs by them during their This is War album time period but hadn't really delved into them - then an article appeared online about the actor/musician cross-over.  Hello Jared Leto - you have a band?  Even more shocked, you have a band that I knew of.  So I started listening to more songs and liked the music.  Flash forward a few months and they are coming to town. Started listening to the newest album (Love Lust Faith +Dreams) and a daily obsession began for me and for my family as I felt the need to infuse the music into their lives since I wanted to go hear the band live.  I simply love Jared Leto's voice, love the lyrics, love the passion in the music, love the sound of the instruments, sometimes behind/sometimes in the forefront, of the songs.   I'm not a fan of their very first album and only like a few songs from the second (A Beautiful Lie) - but This is War and LLFD are amazing.  I cannot help myself but to play it very loud, with the top down on the convertible, singing at the top of my lungs.  It's put me in a pretty darn good mood lately. The added plus to this is that Mr. Chatterbox and Little Miss Sassy Pants loves them too - I love us enjoying the same music.  I think Mr. Happy and Mr. Cheerful are tired of the repeat play, but they will live - it makes me happy. *grin*
4. And then I started watching the music videos and peeled back a few more layers of Jared Leto content as a director (Bartholomew Cubbins), a photographer, an activist, a promoter, etc.  Oh, and Mr. Nobody, the movie I mentioned above.  Which leads into the Jared Leto obsession. You simply need to see Artifact.  It is appalling to me what I learned about labels (the record companies) and how artists get paid (of course, countered by the fact that we are just seeing one perspective of it (heaven forbid I not see, or point out, the reality of all situations)).  Or more to the point - what they don't get paid on... their albums.  It gives me a new understanding for why concert ticket prices are so darn high.  You also need to check out VyRT.  It is the beta stages of a social experience with musicians that Jared Leto created (or maybe just thought of - I don't think he's the technology behind it, just think he's the vision and push behind it).  Seeing what he is doing there combined with watching Artifact and witnessing his FB posts, tweets, instagram uploads, etc. to be connected with his fans (Echelon!) - I have a great respect for what he is doing, as an artist, to promote the band, his causes, and himself.  He is setting the bar high for musicians to establish a relationship with their listeners and I'm excited to see where VyRT goes as it transforms from a 30STMs platform to a venue for other artists. He's also tweeted about music he's listening to which has put me onto the singer Banks who also has a very haunting sound and songs I'm intrigued by.  That right there is the power to influence and I hope to see musicians that I like share more of what they like. Anyways, learning more about Jared Leto and seeing what he has done has also motivated me to be inspired.  Like he seems to be.  I want that drive and passion back in myself.
5. I've been someone else lately. With all the 'positive is a choice you make', criticism I've spent a life time hearing about my personality and self-help about being a better person that circulates the web and at work, I've been shoving so much down inside rather than getting it out that I think I'm going to burst.  I've been trying so hard to always do the right thing, not say what pops in my head (having a filter is sooooo exhausting) and play nicely with others.   I've been trying to be a positive person instead of my pessimistic, realist, negative self.  I'm kinda done with that.  You know what? If being positive is a choice I make in every situation then all you happy people can also chose to be realistic or chose to have a negative reaction to something - just the same as I do.  But you don't, because what comes naturally to you is positive.  What comes naturally to me is cynicism, skeptical instincts and dark twistiness.  That said... even being all that - I actually am happy.  Ranting makes me happy.  Being a realist makes me happy. My husband and kids make me happy.  It isn't a choice to be positive or negative - we are who we are so stop trying to make me you!  A recent FB challenge really brought it to home for me - I was challenged to write three positive things a day for 5 days.  Here is how my first day went: 1) I think it is fantastic that some people are happy, early-risers as they are the coffee makers for the remaining 76% of us.  2) I do not fart rainbows and unicorns. This is actually a very positive thing-can you really imagine hyper-spaz me on happy dust?  3) The apocalypse has not happened, therefore I get to live and breath another day. Wait... This one might not wholly count as positive *grin*.  Day 2 started with this: 1) I drove home without yelling at anyone to learn the zipper merge.  See where I'm going here?  This is me on positive.  I'll say it again... stop trying to make me you - I'm quite happy with me how I am.  (Or at least right this moment as I'm typing this; I will go back to my self-hatred after the euphoria of my daily writing pledge wears off).
6. A rude email this morning worked as a catalyst to make me want to rant and retaliate but societal constraints prevented me from actually sending the well crafted response that I had.  I hate deleting good content.  So, while I couldn't hit send, I can blog *grin*  It will be it's own blog post shortly (or maybe tomorrow, I think I've hit the time limit on my daily allotted requirement to write, journal, rant or be creative in some way). 
7. I miss baking.  It was a cathartic way for me to feel good about something I can do.  It will be part of my expressive outlet, not just writing daily.  So I might share some recipes. Or I might not.  That's one of the books that never got finished... a recipe book that started during the time frame that Mr. Cheerful went gluten-free.  He is now back on a normal diet and food allergy free (he still has a couple meds that have an anaphylactic reaction that we will not even think about challenging - avoidance is far safer).  So I can breath again (no fear can do that for you - seriously, if someone accidentally feeds my child medicine then he shouldn't have been with them in the first place...).  Which makes me want to bake, and write, again.  But that is a post of it's own, as well, that I am not writing today.
8. I have a very personal issue/fear that I faced recently and have to face again in the very near future that has affected my heart, my thoughts and my energy.  It makes me want to get shit out, say what I want to say and be who I am.  Life is so very, very short so why do I keep waiting to live mine until after the kids do this or that.  I need to redefine what it is I want for my life and then sculpt it into the life that we as a family have.  How can I tell my kids to live to their fullest if the example I'm setting is to sacrifice everything I want for someone else?  In the words of 30STM... it's time to Do or Die (except that is one of my least favorite songs - so that we are all on the same page about it...)

So... here I am.  Back for a while, ranting along.  A friend told me to know who my audience is for this blog.  Well, frankly, it's me and, hopefully, my family.  So, I hope you enjoy the ride if you are following along for it will not be focused to a single topic or premise - it will be whatever pops in my head at any given moment that I feel the need to get out because I'm actually inspired or societal norms won't let me do it where I want to (email, verbally, etc.).  Gloves off, not afraid to hurt anyone's feelings, deal with it... that'll be me, on here, for a while.  Maybe. *grin*

I think I'm going to vomit

Dear Movie Producers:

Stop pandering to kids as they can neither pay for their own tickets or go to the movies by themselves.  What you've added with the 3D element does not make the movie better.  A good storyline would though.  And for those of us that need to watch it in 2D... the blatant 3D elements - like a big huge nose coming toward the screen - don't impress either.  Seriously... I'm watching a movie in 2D and an animals big huge nose comes into a huge close-up across the screen.  Really?  That was necessary?  Not in 2D it isn't, but because you made this movie with 3D viewers only in mind - you've ruined it for those of us that aren't watching it in that venue.

The thing is... 3D makes me want to vomit. I've talked to a lot of other adults and it makes them nausea or have a headache too. It is, apparently, an actual medical issue called Cyber Sickness that is a form of, but in the reverse of, Motion Sickness.  Yikes... some other ailment to add to my list of freakishness!  Basically, what happens is that the image on the screen causes the eyes to send a signal to the brain that you are moving, but the fluid in your inner ear does not detect a change in the body's movement.  The signals from the eyes and the ears to the brain conflict causing nausea.

St. Peter's College in Jersey City, N.J. is actually studying Cyber Sickness and have a device called the Vominator.  Seriously... there is a study going on about the effects of 3D on people and they call a device used in studying it the Vominator.  That right there is reason to stop producing 3D movies.

Even Roger Ebert, an 'esteemed' movie critic hates 3D!

So please, go back to making movies for the people who are paying for them.  I don't need my kids whining to please, please, please to get to go to the more expensive, vomit-inducing 3D version of every film you produce!  Let's have some quality instead of cheap tricks!  And if you can't resist the urge to make it 3D, how about a revised 2D version that doesn't have all the gimmicky 3D in-your-face moments?

Put Your Shirt ON

Why is it that guys would think we want to see them with their shirts off?  Unless you are totally buff, the only one who enjoys seeing you with your shirt off is your significant other.  And then, still, maybe not so much.  I'm just sayin'...

There is no end to the grossness that ensues when driving home on a sunny summer day to see yard after yard of icky, sweaty, shirtless, blubbery guys.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you or that you need to lose weight - as that isn't what I think... I think that God gave us each unique body shapes and we need to do right by them (exercise, portion control) but still enjoy life and be comfortable by what we are and not judge our bodies based on the anorexic, over-steroid-ed media touted version of perfection.  So, no... I'm not saying lose weight.  I am saying though - put your flippin' shirt on!  Why do you need to take it off?  Women aren't mowing the lawn with our shirts off - though I would love to not have hot, drippy, clinging clothes when mowing in the heat.  It would be waaaayyyy more comfortable.  But you will  not see an emergence of naked female mowing in my cul-de-sac.  Thankfully - as I'm an icky, sweaty, blubbery gal when mowing.  So keep your shirts on and stop making us have to watch!

Reversed Discrimination

Recently one of my cousins posted a picture of a white male WWII veteran who'd been beaten by two black males on FB with a statement wondering why we aren't outraged by this. I was quick to respond as this is a topic that has been bugging me often since starting back to work 3 years ago that I'm seeing not just in the workplace but in society as a whole.  No one is outraged over the WWII vet because the pic isn't circulating and the media isn't picking it up for one simple reason.  We don't care about white males. Nor do employers. In the guise of diversity, 'we' only care if someone is a minority through race, religion or sexual orientation. The rest can bugger off. Lovely state of affairs isn't it? And this is from a someone who in the 90's was a white, jewish woman (total minority) hitting the glass ceiling... you'd think I'd be advocating for the equality that should exist - well, I am.  Equality should exist.  For all.  I think we've gone way to far to the other side where reverse-discrimination prevails.  I work at a place that is so determined to be anti-racism that they've actually become the complete opposite.  There is a mentality at my work that the only way to get hired or a promoted is if you are not a white male.  2nd in line to be passed on is a white woman unless she has some form of 'minority' that can be tapped into such as religion or sexual orientation.  Which employers shouldn't even know anyways.  That said, an ordinary white woman still has a much better chance at being hired or promoted than a white man.  It's not just where I work... I've talked to white male friends who have commented that there is no chance they would get a promotion even if they had seniority in years and better work performance.  Minorities can make clubs and events that exclude those that are not of the same minority but we would definitely hear outrage if there was a club of white males that excluded those that were not the same.  To be clear... I am not advocating a club for white males only I think that would be just as bogus as all the minority clubs currently circulating.  I also want to be clear, since I have previous posts advocating equal rights, that I do see where an inequality exists (such as marriage previously in Minnesota) and completely, 100%, believe in equal rights for all regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation.  Believing in equality is why I'm disparaged by the inequality that is starting to prevail in the name of equality.  Equality means all are judged or treated the same based on their own accomplishments or actions, not on their race, religion or sexual orientation.  Is there a prevalence of minorities being passed over or ignored? I can easily say that there used to be - but I'm not so sure about that any more.  Being a plain, white female, I can't presume to truly know what barriers still exist in the workplace.  But I do wonder.  

Back to the picture though... why aren't we outraged?  Why isn't this circulating? Firstly, this crime hasn't been classified as a hate crime.  Neither was the story of a couple that were kidnapped and tortured.  We aren't outraged by ordinary violence and mayhem.  Something sensational has to happen around it.  No one is picketing or speaking out.  Crime happens multiple times daily.  Another interesting statement about our society today...  we've all desensitized ourselves to it.  But... we are totally interested in what the latest celeb is doing.  Really?  Who cares about narcissistic media hounds.  Really... you have to be somewhat narcissistic to want a life in the public eye.  I believe that every politician and celebrity has a very narcissistic ego.  They'd have to to purposely submit themselves to that life.  And we should thank them for it as they provide us the entertainment we are looking for.  But... I've wander off topic again.  Back to the picture... we should be outraged.  We should be outraged about the 'normality' of crimes, we should be outraged that people care more about a sensational story or reality TV show than the multiple crimes that occurred that day, we should be outraged by a society that is apathetic.  We should be outraged whether the victim is white being perpetrated by black or a black by white; a man being beaten by a woman should get as much time in the public as a woman beaten by a man (and by this I do not mean in self-defense... there is domestic violence against men, just the same as women, that we never see - but that is a whole different rant).  There should be an equal amount of media attention regardless of race, sex, religion or sexual orientation and we should have an equal amount of rage regardless of the victim or perpetrators.  I'll say it again America... we should have an equal amount of rage over this!

Food Trucks Beware: this allergy mama is headed your way!

Mr. Cheerful and I are thinking of going to a local festival that has my favorite ice cream place - Izzy's in St. Paul and Food Trucks.  I have a long standing love of both.  Izzy's is amazing in their flavor selection, quality, ease of ingredient information and friendliness when asking for said ingredients!  And food trucks, while grossly over-priced, have AMAZING food and it's just fun to walk up to one and order! *grin*  No idea why that pleases me so much!

So... anyways... back to the festival... I mean seriously... ice cream and food trucks - was there ever a question?  Mr. Cheerful cinched up the deal when we were talking about that we'd want to do off times for the food trucks because we'd have to ask about ingredients and he said

 "just because I have an allergy shouldn't mean that I don't get to do food trucks".  

BAM!  What an awful mom I have been - this one simple statement made me realize that I rave on and on and on about food trucks but have never taken him to one.  Why haven't I taken him to one?  Welcome to the world of being an allergy mom...  if my child eats annatto, a natural colorant - his lips swell up exponentially and the potential that I will have to epi him is increased every time he has a reaction.  Since he's already been epi'd and rushed to the ER, it isn't something I want to see as 'worse' next time.  My diligence since we were finally able to identify what the allergen was (the aforementioned evil natural colorant annatto), he has not had a single re-occurrence.  Thankfully - as Mr. Happy had a couple of accidental ingestion episodes early on and last year at a large gathering picnic there was a miscommunication that resulted in Mr. Cheerful eating a dish that had been brought but not ingredient checked - fortunately it turned out there was no annatto in any of the components.  But... back to over-diligence on my watch... I've dealt with the whole eating out-ingredient thing by calling in advance.  I have Mr. Cheerful look at the menu to decide what he will want and then I call and ask about the components.  When we aren't able to call in advance, we do the wait while the waitress checks on whatever it is that Mr. Cheerful wants (or might eat off someone else's plate) before we do any ordering.  Makes eating out with other families, who don't understand, a total nightmare!  Thankfully we've surrounded ourselves with compassionate and empathetic families so our friends seem to be pretty understanding - so far.  Honestly, I can't imagine being friends with someone who was so self-absorbed that having to check a life-threatening allergy would be an issue though.  But back to the original point of the blog... calling on a food truck in advance is a tad bit difficult as part of the joy in food trucks is that spontaneous decision on which one to eat at.  I suppose that I could call all of them that I know will be at the event in advance - but really?  That's a bit overboard and I'm not one of those kinda moms...  The thing is though, me being diligent about all this has a boat load of anxiety attached.  The what-ifs... what if they mess up on their ingredient check, what if he can't get what he wants then he's disappointed, what if we are putting someone out, what if there is a long line and people get frustrated waiting, what if, what if, what if!  The one that really is the stress-er though is the accidental consumption.  The fear of my child dying because someone made a mistake is awful.  However, I know that I am naturally a doom see-er, so I try to not let it paralyze me.  Ask Mr. Happy - a total worrier about stuff that will never happen is what he will tell you about me.

So... this bad mom is going to stuff her fear deep down inside and correct the sheltered youth that my child has lived by not eating at a food truck! He sounds sheltered and deprived, right?  I can't imagine a kid going through life not eating at a food truck!  So... we will look for off times when there is little to no line and then hope that the person in the truck is cool with checking on ingredients for us.  So beware St. Paul Food Trucks - an allergy mom is headed your way!

Child Care Union

During my hiatus from feeling like writing (that dark murky place I went to where nothing seemed funny) I had bursts of ranty-ness surface.  

Yes, I just made up ranty-ness.  I like it so just run with it, okay?  Fantabulous makes me happy too.  This post isn't about the dictionary (one of my favorite books by the way) so let's not discuss my word-making-upping.  Made that one up too...

The following exchange occurred in May and still makes me giggle at Mr. Happy's response.  So... feeling not so energetic as to come up with my own, new rant today - I'm stealing from my own old rant in May and then expanding on it today...

In early May, Mr. Happy got an email from a one of our state senators about the day care unionization bill and forwarded it to me asking what my thoughts were on it.  Here is what I wrote:

I think it is bullshit for daycare providers to be defined as state workers.  I also have some issue with them unionizing since there is not a need for union to assist in contract negotiations with businesses for the rights of the the members/workers and the 'workers' are self employees day care providers doing business with individuals.  This pissed me off.  Those are my thoughts on this!  I feel a blog coming on...

Mr. Happy's response, which makes me giggle every time I read it:

Ok, and what are your real thoughts, don't hold back. 

He cracks me!

So, unfortunately even that was not enough to get me back to blogging then, but I am working on it now. And boy, I really do have a potty mouth when I'm fired up!

Since this little exchange between Mr. Happy and I, Governor Dayton has signed SF 778 into a law.  The interesting thing is, the few people I know that are daycare providers don't want this and aren't happy about it and say that no one they know is lobbying for it.  The biggest concerns I'm hearing is that they are self employed and the union turns them into state employees (which validated my initial response to Mr. Happy) and that the only way to avoid being part of the union is to not take in any CCAP families - but this then limits the options for those families and having State money is a lot more stable income than self-paying families.

Obviously, my exposure to this is limited to a few people with similar mindset.  But looking at the movement online against it and articles citing a predominant base of Child Care providers being against it, I have to ask - why exactly was this law put in place.  If it does not benefit those that are actually affected by it then it is political agenda, not the people's voice.

And, admittedly, I'm a tad tainted on union involvement due to my own experiences as a government employee forced to be in a union and what I've witnessed in this particular union creating a negative impact on work ethic - which sucks as that is not what a well formed and correctly run union does.  A well formed and correctly run union benefits it's members but doesn't excuse their misbehavior.

Very curious to hear what others think about the formation of the Child Care Union, as like I said... I only actually know a few people truly affected by this.

Sports Intensity

WARNING: This post has some not pleasant language.  I'm feeling surly about this topic and my potty mouth has surfaced...  If it will offend you then don't read it.

My kids are average. No delusions here. They might get some scholarship money for college and even possibly play college sports (okay, maybe I am a tad delusional) - but scouts aren't going to be visiting and offering us cars and they aren't going pro (though that would be awesome as then Mr. Chatterbox would love his mama again, well, at least when any national cameras were around).  As long as they have good grades, our boys participate in a sport a season.  They also participate in Scouts and Church programs and Mr. Cheerful takes drum lessons.  Little Miss Sassy Pants does brainy but cool and kind of expressive extra-curriculars like Book Club and Newspaper, and no longer does sports, so that's why we are just talking about the boys - she is not being excluded in any way.  As such, we have to find balance between the activities.  Most other parents I talk to are in the same boat - trying to find balance for activities of multiple kids in multiple things (which are not always the same) and having to make choices on which things to miss when there are conflicts.  Should my kids not be in sports ever because there might be a scout camping trip resulting in a practice or game missed?  Should my kids not be in scouts because there might be a game that conflicts with a troop or den meeting?  What about when I have to get them to places on opposite ends of town at the same time on a night when Mr. Happy is out of town - should they just not go if I can't find a ride for them instead of showing up 5-10 minutes late? Really - is 5-10 minutes late that awful vs. not being there at all?   Remember, we are talking about 10 and 12 year olds.  We aren't even talking about high school sports - these boys are elementary and middle school aged.  And I haven't even started my rant... so here goes:

• parent's who are stay-at-home or teachers with the summer off - knock it off... the rest of us don't have your life and the bar you've set is too darn high for us to meet it.  We get it... you don't have anything else in your life so you take this sport very serious.  You are never late, you never miss a practice and there is never anything other than this sport so nothing gets in the way of being here.  I can't stand these parents.  The ones that sports is their life and they make it their kids life and they don't get that other people don't feel the same way. And the thing is, their kid isn't going pro either.   They also expect you to figure it out no matter what and accept no excuses and usually don't have the extenuating circumstances like a traveling spouse or health issues. The thing is... why am I even having to explain myself to you - it's none of your flippin' business!!!  Life is hard.  I'm really happy for you that your's isn't but leave me and mine alone!  Let's be clear here though... I know several parents who are stay-at-home or teachers that don't act this way - so I am not saying this is a trait of all stay-at-home or teacher parents... I'm saying the ones that act superior and make my attendance or dedication their business need someone to knock them off that pedestal.  
• how about the coaches that bench kids at games who didn't come to practice?  Again... not talking about high school.  We are talking about elementary and middle school aged kids on teams that are patch-worked together with primarily volunteer parents coaching.  If you are on the high school team with a paid coach - yes I guess that I expect that coach to be a dick at times (although we will see when my boys get to high school how well I do at watching them get yelled at as my tolerance level now is pretty much nilch and I'm a tad over-protective so I'm really not sure what a few years is going to change on that, but we'll chat about that when we get there...) but at this age level - seriously... stop being an asshat!  Watching my kid sit on the sideline watching an entire game because he wasn't at practice the week prior due to a health condition out of his control does very little for me.  I get it - we are trying to teach them commitment to the game and the team and it does matter that they go to practice, not just the games, but if a kid didn't make practice it wasn't because he just didn't want to go.  It's because something else was going on, the kids was sick  or injured, or there is some extenuating issue.  I do not know a single parent that would accept the excuse out of their kid that they just don't want to go.  And seriously, if I - THE PARENT - is making the choice for my child to not be there (and again - that would not be for just not wanting to go) then who are you to punish my kid for a decision I made FOR them??? More than that... at this age it should be about building a love of the sport and equal playtime for all kids.  If you are stacking your roster and only playing kids that will make you win then you should not be coaching this age level.  
• having my kid yelled at for being late.  This one really ticks me off.  You are yelling at someone who has no control over their schedule and cannot drive themselves.  You don't know why they are late and you don't know if it was the kids fault or the parents fault.  If my kid isn't ready to go when it is time and he is late - I've already yelled at him in the car on the way there. But if that wasn't it... if he's late because of the parent, then what is your yelling going to accomplish other than make him feel bad for something he couldn't control?   You don't know the circumstances... maybe this kid was at the door or in the car with all his gear ready to go at the right time to get there on time or even early but the parent had to deal with something.  As a coach, if you see a consistent problem, then connect with the parent(s) to find out what is going on, to see if everything is ok, see if they need help or at a minimum get an understanding of what is going on.  What you don't do is yell at the kid in front of all the other kids when again (sounding like a broken record now) at this age they have no control over their schedule and they can not drive themselves but don't yell at the kid.  And certainly don't yell at them the first time it's ever happened - that isn't a pattern... that's a fact of life happening!  I do want to say my little mantra again though... these kids have no control over their schedule and they can not drive themselves.  No, really... did you hear me???  CHILDREN HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER OVER THEIR SCHEDULES AND THEY CAN NOT DRIVE THEMSELVES.   Did the yelling help?  No, of course it didn't.
• a parent sniping that if you can't get your kid there to use carpools but not offering to be one.  Really? I had a situation here recently where there were a couple grueling weeks of an extensive travel schedule for Mr. Happy during which I was relocated for work to the other side of the Metro, had exhausted my list of 'get help from other parents for ride's' and wanted to actually attend a game to see how awesomely average my kid was but couldn't find the field resulting in us being late - a parent who barely knows me has the audacity to tell me to use carpools!  Admittedly - I did not handle this well - I responded that it was so awesome that they were offering to carpool for all the other parents even though I knew that was not in any way what they were saying or meant. It was effective though - the conversation ended.  Like still... this person avoids me - so sometimes it is good to say what you are thinking.  Just not usually for me - so I won't mistake this one success for becoming a lifelong habit.  Thought that would be so wickedly cool if I could just start making all my snarky comments out loud instead of just in my head!
• the loud mouths on the sidelines that think they know the game better than the coach or the refs.  Really?  If you did then why didn't YOU volunteer to coach?  Why are you helping at practices when you can?  The coaches are doing their best and the refs are doing their best.  You aren't.  You are being an annoying whiner how just needs to shut your mouth.  This is bad, bad, bad sportsmanship that you are modeling.  Keep it clean and keep it positive.  Root the team on - loud and obnoxious is good if you are positive.  You can even be yelling at your boys to get to the ball first or stay on their guy (I'm faltering a little here as the majority of the time I am lost at sporting events and just repeating what Mr. Happy has said so I know it sounds good...) but don't yell at the coaches or refs to pay attention.  Don't yell at the boys to 'wake up' because the other team is 'creaming' them.  That would in absolutely no way motivate me so I can guarantee you it isn't going to motivate these boys.  Actually, that's a lie.  It does motivate me to wish that it was acceptable in society to punch morons.  Fortunately I'm a wimp and a weakling so we have no concerns that I'm ever going to go postal on anyone *grin*
• I have more, but I think I've made my point that people are taking youth sports way, way, way too serious. 

In all this, I do have to say - I, as a parent, benefit greatly from my kids being in sports because the majority of parents or coaches are not like the few bullet points I put above (I have more bullet points I could have done, so I really could potentially rant about this again later... that was probably foreshadowing for those that didn't catch it) and the social aspect for parents in sporting kids is AWESOME.  I love being on the sidelines with the majority of the other parents.  And our family has been quite lucky in having some coaches in the boys lives that are just totally and completely into the sport themselves in a positive way making the season a wonderful experience that has my boys wanting to come back again next year.

And... I do have to admit, in all the balance that I have to achieve - I could not muster it without the amazing support of some pretty awesome people in my life.  Whether it is from giving a ride, keeping me updated or being an ear for my vent... my support system  is an amazing, uplifting thing.  Even the ones who I rarely get to see.  But now we are migrating into the topic of friendships and how to maintain them and this rant was about parents who take sports too intensely!

LinkedIn Endorsements are totally bogus

I'm going to say it like I mean it... the endorsements on LinkedIn are totally bogus. There is no vetting to the endorsement. I get a box at the top of my profile asking me to endorse other people for skills that they've listed they have. I only endorse people that I have actually worked with in the capacity that the skill set was used for - so an endorsement from me is valid. When another parent from our elementary that I barely know that has connected with me on LinkedIn then endorses me for my Progress 4GL Programming knowledge - which I haven't even used in the past 10 years and have only know the person for the past 6 years since we moved to the Metro, I have to wonder what they think they are doing. Does this person even know what Progress 4GL is? Why are they endorsing me for a platform they know nothing about. Seriously! I do like when former bosses, co-workers and peers in the industry endorse my skills as they actually know what I'm capable of. I'm even ok with the elementary parent endorsing me for things like social media content, project management, organizational skills or other similar skill that they could feel they've seen because of the different volunteer duties I've taken on within our community. I do a lot for several different organizations. Especially the eNewsletters with Constant Contact and Social Media stuff. So I get that. But not them endorsing me for my db admin, programming or sys admin stuff. Come on! Since this bugs me so much, for my part I am very, very stingy with the endorsements I do. I want them to have actual value and meaning. I think I am alone in this though. So... I say to you all - when on LinkedIn please only do legitimate endorsements!!!

For those that do not know what LinkedIn is, it is essentially the professional connection equivalent to Facebook. It used to be a much more professional networking location that gave some insight to someone you were doing business with, looking to hire or peripherally connected to professionally. Now it allows people to do status updates and blog posts lessening it's value. And did I mention the bogus endorsements?

Gone for a while

I've been gone for a while.  I honestly had nothing to say.  My life was consumed by food issues and in the middle of it was a little ticked off at God for doing this to my youngest son.  Didn't necessarily what to share my nasty blasphemy... Well, we are on the other side of all this now.  I get it, I manage it, my kiddo is safe and happy and good to go.  I also realized that my anger was very, very misplaced and am very thankful that God could handle the misdirected anger and still love me in the end.  In the middle of it all, I've had several people ask me why I wasn't blogging anymore.  I didn't know I'd be missed...

So, since you asked for it... you've got it - I'm back and will start spewing my rant-y attitude again!

Much love,
Little Miss Rant :)

Late Night Texting

As I am sitting at my laptop working on a weekly eNews that I send for our elementary PTA... into my inbox pops the funniest message EVER!

Mr. Cheerful sent the following message to Mr. Chatterbox but accidentally put me on it too:

We should use e-mailing like texting to communicate but you'll need to be patient while the other person is emailing and tell me you are getting off and delete these as soon as you get them so we don't get in trouble NO SWEARING.

I am cracking up that Mr. Cheerful wants his big brother to not be a potty mouth    and slightly disturbed that the little turd thinks he can cover his tracks by deleting his e-mails.  I'm SOOO not telling either of them about the Sent Mail folder or reminding them that I have the password to their e-mail accounts!  

I replied:

Did you mean to send this to me too?  

You guys should TOTALLY use email to communicate back and forth (just like texting except that it's FREE!!!! whereas texting is not free!) - but not when you are supposed to be in bed sleeping.  

And you don't have to delete them because you won't get in trouble for e-mailing back and forth (because it is FREE!!!) - that's why you both have e-mail accounts.  You will only get in trouble if you are doing it when you shouldn't be - like 1/2 hour after I've sent you to bed.  Doing it when you are supposed to be in bed will result in all electronic devices being put in the kitchen, not just phones. 

And I agree - no potty mouths.  Filthy mouths will be cleaned with Disney soap. 

Love, 

Mommy 

OOOOOHHHHHH! I just can't stop laughing.  It is moments like this that I truly love being a mom and getting to see how their minds and personalities work.  Most important thing I took away from all this though... my boys are wanting to connect with each other and I far prefer that to the fighting!

I should probably explain the "Filthy mouths will be cleaned with Disney Soap" comment...  

Mr. Chatterbox is having the traditional middle school boy trying to navigate his way in the world and figure out what is cool (and not) and push any (and every) boundary he encounters.  His language has left much to be desired.  About 6 months ago after a rather awful spewing of sewage I took one of the leftover Mickey Mouse imprinted Disney Resort Soaps out of it's wrapper and had Mr. Chatterbox lather it up then put it in his mouth for 10 seconds (YES - I stole the idea from A Christmas Story!!! I'm sure that is where my parents got it when they had to do the same to me!!!).  He found it disgusting.  I was traumatized by the torturing of my son (or moreso his over-dramatized reaction to said torture that wrenched at my heart) and in a moment of brilliance (yes... yes, I did go there and called myself brilliant!  Just run with it for now, I'm sure we will have a plethora of opportunities in future posts to prove that I'm really not.  So just for now... let me feel that that moment in time WAS brilliant!) realized that I had an opportune moment to prevent it from ever happening again - I took the sucked upon soap and put it in a ziplock baggie that says "A filthy mouth gets cleaned" and then duct taped it to his wall right by his door so that he could see it, be reminded of it and hopefully make better choices later.  (Truth be told, I was hoping it would serve as a deterent for purely selfish reasons as if I have to put the soap in his mouth again his over-dramatized reaction WILL make me cry!)

It hasn't quite had the effect that I wanted (as evidenced by his little brother not wanting him to cuss in e-mails - but in his moments of doing it in front of me, all I have to do is raise one eyebrow and point at the bag (if in proximity) or say "A filthy mouth gets cleaned with Disney Soap" and he starts filtering his language.  

Not sure this was the marketing Disney had in mind for their resort soaps... but it's working for our Happy family!

Ready for the Holidays?

It sounds like  most everyone is feeling that they aren't ready for the holidays this year.  Being an over-achiever, in the past I was able to keep up with stuff like that and wasn't able to commiserate with the non-stay at home moms with the balance they weren't achieving (mind you, I wasn't judging though... I tried to never be one of those moms and attempted to always be supportive - if that's not the case I really wish someone would have told me if I was being intolerable!!!).  Now that I'm back at work (and even 2 1/2 years past going back to work, it still seems like a new thing!), I find that balance is not so easy to attain and totally get how hard it is not having a bunch of daytime hours to manage my time with.  So, I thought I would make everyone who's feeling behind get a glimpse at how horribly I'm doing so that they might not feel so bad about their own list.  Doesn't that always work... "I'm doing awful, but hey Susie Que over there is doing so much worse so it doesn't seem so bad..."

So...  let's get real about how the holiday's are panning out in Happyville...

Chanukah started on Saturday December 8th.  In the middle of a meeting on Thursday, December 6th where the speaker had a heavy accent that no one could understand (you don't even want to start me on this rant... I know we need to be pc about cultural diversity, but when you are so insistent on not even attempting to be understood it seems like a really bad career choice to go into public speaking.  Okay... I said it.  Go ahead and rant back at me about how totally un-politically correct that statement was!) my mind started to wander and it suddenly hit me... holy menorah batman!...  Chanukah was due to start on Saturday.  A day and a half away Saturday.  Oy vey... a day and a half away SATURDAY!

• Chanukah Presents:  Thanks to Mr. Happy being in town, his total obsession with CostCo and my love of Barnes and Nobles... we got presents cranked out in a few hours that evening.
• Chanukah Candles: On Friday Mr. Happy counted the candles for my and Little Miss Sassy Pants' menorahs and found that we had enough leftovers from previous years to hodge podge our way through most of Chanukah.  He then stopped by the temple and picked up a couple boxes for us on Saturday since he was on that side of town at a xcSki Coaches training.

At that point I was thinking... WOW! We pulled that off without a hitch and the kid's will never know how unorganized I've become since going back to work (again... at 2 1/2 years is this allowed to be considered a growing pain?).  And then last night... Mr. Chatterbox asks 'when are we going to eat the Chanukah food?'.  

• Chanukah Food: Holy Blintzes Batman!  I forgot about our tradition of eating potato latkes with apple sauce, blintzes with sour cream and cherries, sufganoit (jelly-filled donuts) - all of which are fried in OIL! - and flourless chocolate cake that we have on the first night of Chanukah.  And then, let's not forget... the homemade challah bread that Mr. Happy started making when we couldn't find it anywhere without annatto (Mr. Cheerful's first anaphylactic allergy (we have a new one... the pepper family (as in bell, chili, banana, jalepeno, etc. - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet!)) that we use for french toast the following morning (as in first morning of Chanukah).  I've obviously strayed far, far away from my Jewish heritage to have forgotten about the FOOD!  So.. Mr. Happy to the rescue (again!!! - and he's not got a lick of Judaism in him!!!)... he's back in town today and is going to call around to see if there are any Jewish deli's or bakeries that have gluten-free, annatto-free, pepper family-free (*bleh to that mouthful, from this point forward in this post we shall refer to it as GF, AF, PF (not to be confused with MF... which I really feel like spewing right now, but I'm a lady so I won't say it!  Yea... just run with the idea of me not having a horrid potty mouth, okay?) blintzes, latkes, challah, etc. as a save for tonight.  Mostly likely, the reality is that we are either not going to do the food this year or I'm going to spend significant time Saturday (last day of Chanukah) attempting to turn all my from-scratch recipes into Bob's Red Mill All Purpose Flour recipes!  I'm sure that I will manage this on the first pass and it will all turn out amazingly yummy.  *snort*  

Side note:  This Chanukah I'm beginning to wonder if Mr. Happy is paying people to distract me so that he can keep save the day.  He has been AMAZING.  You should want for a husband as awesome as this.  But I still wonder if he's paying people so I will appreciate him more! *grin*

And then there are the GF, AF, PF* @ School Holiday items that I need to purchase or order.  There is the pizza party followed by an ice cream sundae bar on Thursday and the gingerbread houses making on Friday.  My list includes:

• Ordering a GF, AF Pizza from Dominos to be delivered at the same time as the rest of the 4th grades order.  I thought I was ahead of the game in knowing that Dominos already has a GF, AF option.  Now I have to go back and check the ingredients in the sauce to make sure that none of the pepper  family (again... of the bell, jalapeno, banana, etc. variety, not black) is making it spicy!  So... uncheck that one...
• For the Sundae Bar we need Oreos and Vanilla Ice Cream.  I've got the GF Oreos by Kinnikinnick (one of our favs!) and have the AF Vanilla Ice Cream from Izzy's on the list for this weekend's errands.
• I'm started on the GF, AF (and now PF) gingerbread (which are really graham cracker) houses, in that I've already purchased the Kinnikinnick (need to buy stock in them and in Udi's!) Graham Crackers, I know where I can get the GF, AF Pretzel Rods and we have a can of AF White Frosting as a backup in case I can't find white in the whipped variety without it having the generic 'color added' in the ingredients (3 brands so far are a bust so far).  I'm going to take a look at the GF food store where I'm getting the pretzel rods this weekend.  Beyond that, I'm not sure how much energy I will put into this before e-mailing the teacher my dilemma about my child having the wrong kind of frosting - but they had whipped underlined on the letter that came home, so I need to give it a bit more of a try before admitting defeat! 

All said and done though, I'm thinking the school food issue isn't all that behind... but... 

Did anyone remember that I have two kids with Birthdays on December 23rd?  Except... we are celebrating my, Little Miss Sassy Pants and Mr. Cool's birthday's this weekend!  Yikes!  Okay... actually, that was just dramatic effect.  We already have birthday presents.  Our only 're-org' is that I now have to work on a restaurant option that is also PF, I already had GF, AF options.  I'm thinking I will call tomorrow (Saturday) morning since we are planning to go out Saturday night.  That doesn't seem procrastinated at all, does it?

There are many staple Holiday Traditions that we have...

• Holiday lights are Mr. Happy's passion and in true Griswald fashion, he's already got stuff on the house, in the front yard, and back yard, and on the deck, possibly in the neighbors yard (okay, well, not really, but it sounded funny, didn't it?).  Again with Mr. Happy being on the ball and me not.  Pisses me off, you know?  (Ha, ha and HA... there comes that potty mouth).
• Big 4 and ABC Family Holiday shows... we've watched Blake Shelton sing, Michael Buble sing, Frosty get married, Kris Kringle get married, Kevin McAllister get left home alone and Buddy find out he isn't really an elf.  DVR'd and waiting for us are several more of the classic animatronic (? is that right, I don't think it's claymation, but maybe?) the Year w/o Santa, Miser Brothers, etc.  So I think we are in good shape on this one.  Yes, let's not discuss that I don't have any of the things I need to do on my errands list done but we've watched lots of TV.  I already know I suck as a real mom, I just play a good one on TV!
• We've been trying to get to Holidazzle and the Macy's animatronics show (this time I know I'm using the right word) since the first weekend in December but just haven't been able to make it work with schedules yet (really... why can't they do it EVERY night instead of just the weekends?).  Might end up not going AGAIN this year.  Makes it not much of a tradition, eh?  Poor Mr. Cheerful, he's getting really ripped off when you compare his childhood to his older siblings who had me as a stay-at-home mom that made everything happen without a hitch!
• Homemade Martha Stewart quality family time crafts.  'nuf said.  That's just not going to happen!  (It didn't happen at Halloween or Thanksgiving either... for the past 2 1/2 years, ya know?)
• Holiday Card.  We probably just shouldn't talk about this.  We haven't even taken a family photo yet.  We are planning to this weekend when Mr. Cool is here, but seriously... no photo yet totally translates then to the ordering of cards and mailing not done either.  What waas that?  Holiday letter?  Well... last year I did a Wordle because I ran so late.  Tacky to do that two years in a row?  And I feel bad about this because cards have been trickling in since Thanksgiving and my friends all have such amazing photos and letters.  I used to love this!  You know, back when I was stay-at-home and had an hour or so to work on stuff.  (Wait, what is that - how long did it take me to write this blog instead of doing something useful?  *feigns innocence* I don't know) 
• Conversation about the Christian aspects of Christmas... done!  Thanks to the lovely conversation Mr. Cheerful and I had about Santa (see said conversation here)
• Tree... Not yet cut, let alone placed or decorated.  On this weekend's list.  Seriously, who needs tinsel  and broken bulbs this early?
• Presents... Thanks to Mr. Happy making me go to Black Friday sales Thursday night (!?! Can it still be called black Friday when it's Thursday night?) we are mostly done.  (I.can't.believe.he.has.made.me.go.to.Black.Friday.on.Thursday.Night.two.years.in.a.row - Ugh!)  So really, now it's just the last minute pull it all out and see if we short-changed anyone then dash out to balance the loot.
• Except then there are the presents for the extended family... a few years ago we did a homemade gift that went over well.  I thought we'd do it again.  Mr. Happy (darn him!) has already bought the ingredients, errr... I mean components if you are one of my extended family reading this - components gives nothing away! *grin*... but they are sitting on the table waiting to be, um... assembled.  Yep, that's it... assembled is what we are doing to the components this weekend.  And then since Mr. Happy is off for the next 2 1/2 weeks (double darn him) he can mail it all on Monday.

Whew... anyone else tired just thinking about this?  Sounds like I have a lot to do this weekend, eh?  Are you feeling better about how much you've already got done yet?  If not, I could make some more ridiculous holiday tasks for myself ensuring a mental breakdown before I turn 43 (which would actually solve my holiday problem since my birthday is 3 days BEFORE Christmas!)...

Put the boy in a bubble?

I've decided that it is time to home school.  That way my children will never, ever, ever have contact with any other child ever again!*  At school, some other mother's child felt the need to tell Mr. Cheerful that Santa is not real**.  So, like any predatory creature, he chose to come to the weakest member of the herd.  Me.  As he knows that if he asked Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy would lie to him (a fact which I think Mr. Happy is actually proud of!  Yeah, yeah... all you dad's unite on that being a good trait...).  The conversation started like this "You know how you've promised to never lie to me?".  Seriously... I knew right in that moment that whatever was to come next was NOT going to be good for me and that I was totally screwed!  He then followed with so-and-so told me that Santa isn't real and he wanted to know the truth.  I did the 'what do you think's' and 'I believe in Santa' (keyword being believe - which is not a lie!).  He saw the subterfuge of my attempts to divert and not answer, so he persisted with his own 'really, squeezes into a tube?', 'hits a gazillion houses on one night', 'has reindeer that fly', etc..  Ultimately, after wearing me down (a trait he has learned well from Mr. Happy.  Yeah, yeah... dad's uniting again on this being a good thing...), I finally answered that no, not really.  As the tears welled up in his eyes I was crushed - I'd just taken the magic away from my child.  I apologized for telling him the truth and that I wished I could have lied to him but felt a little trapped because he's started the conversation with making me promise I wouldn't.  To this, he got really, really mad at me and said that he wasn't crying because the magic was gone, he was crying because I've been lying to him for YEARS.  Years.  Yikes!  I think I would have preferred the loss of magic!  The conversation then progressed to the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Elves, Fairies, Rudolph and Reindeer.  Thinking that was a segue to redeeming myself I pounced on the reindeer aspect - as I was able to point out several zoos in which he has seen reindeer with his own eyes.  Unfortunately, he saw through that one too and somewhat condescendingly said 'yes mom, but they don't fly'.  Ugh!

Which leaves me with our Christmas traditions being based on a lie, instead of magical.  He might not believe anymore, but I think I need to.  I need for there to still be gifts from Santa.  I need us to put sparkly oats on the lawn so that the flying reindeer will see them from the sky and land on our lawn to eat them.  And then Santa can squeeze through the dryer vent to get in our house since we don't have a fireplace and we needed an orifice from the outside to the inside for Santa to squeeze into!  Laugh all you want, but how did you explain, on the spot, to a toddler how Santa gets in the house?  I need us to sprinkle reindeer food on the lawn, darn it!  Because if we don't, the realities of having a high schooler, middle schooler and upper elementary child are going to come crashing in really, really hard!  And seriously,  Mr. Cool isn't married yet and Little Miss Sassy Pants is WAY too young, so it's not like any grandchildren are coming along any time soon for me to lie to!  Wow... I'm now looking forward to lying to little children! What is next in the degradation of my life?

So, while I'm not actually serious about homeschooling my children (I mean seriously - they are in AP courses, Advanced Courses and the Gifted and Talented program - you think that would, or could, have happened if I was homeschooling them?***),  this would, in part, be a public service for all other mom's as my kid is now that 'other mother's child' that is probably telling all his friends the truth about their parents lying to them for years on end since birth.  Ugh again!

Notes:

* Homeschooling Moms:Don't get your knickers in a bunch!  NO!  I do not think that you shelter your children from other kids.  Frankly, I personally think you probably do a better job of social interactions for your kids than I do for mine.  This is meant to be humorous, not a personal attack, so take the chip off your shoulder and look for the humor because I think you guys are great and admirable in what you are doing!!!

** For all my fanatic Christian friends (you know you are but I still love you anyways...), Christmas for us IS about Christ's birth.  Same as Chanukah is a Festival of Lights and in no way goes against Christ or my now being Christian so we still celebrate it to honor the traditions by which I was raised.  And while Mr. Happy (who is a borderline fanatic Christian! *grin*) and I do make sure that our kids know that Christmas is about Christ, we do also still have the magic of Santa (which story has it was acting in honor of Christ's birth), Rudolph, Reindeer and other elements of 'mainstream' Christmas infused into our Holidays.  To say it's about Christ's birth period is wonderful for your family, but it doesn't make my family any less Christian just because we choose to have the magic woven in as well.

***This is a reflection on my abilities, not an attack on homeschooling.  From what I hear, your kids score much higher than district kids on standardized tests, ACT and SAT's.  Again, meant to be humorous and totally about me stunting my children's intellectual capacity if they were reliant on me as the sole source of brain nutrition!

Additional Note: I find it very sad what society has done to women in that I feel that I have to do these disclaimers as everyone is so incredibly hyper-sensitive.  What happened to women  bringing each other up, supporting the personal choices we make and not taking everything personal as it most likely wasn't intended that way.  I think there should be no more finger-pointing, no more misconstruing of comments and all women should be confident in their choices and supportive of each other!!!  But... that is a whole different rant!!!

BUSTED!

I was so busted tonight...

So... I have this amazing new (used) car.  We call it The Dolphin, because it's color is Dolphin Grey.  It seemed more fitting than Flipper, so just go with it!  It's got this AMAZING sound system.  After years and years of the old crickety (but I still love you and miss you ol' buddy, ol' pal) Saab that didn't get overly loud and seemed to only emanate sound from the dashboard (even though there were speakers all around...) - the volume of the Dolphin's sound and how the surround totally envelopes me in noise from every angle is just so wickedly cool.  I, admittedly, crank that baby up when I'm driving alone with the top down going (limiting myself to -- that is a whole different blog about how much power this car has and the overwhelming urge daily to just let it go to its full potential but because of my stupid black and white, rule obeying mentality can't...) 70 on the freeway.  Tonight, however, I'm driving into the garage and my (right-now) favorite song Madness by Muse comes on.  Seriously?  How could I NOT crank that up to see how amazing IT would sound in my new (used) car!?!  So... I did.  

So here is your mental picture, 42 year old MOM of 2-4 kids (2 affected my body, all 4 affect my heart) with the tunes blaring, eyes closed, dancing my heart out (while still strapped in the seatbelt - I mean, REALLY, you would think that I could have at least unbuckled!) and 'singing' (we will call it that anyways...) at the top of my lungs.  

And then I opened my eyes.  And there he was.  Mr. Cheerful.  Standing in the open doorway between the house and the garage staring at me.  My eyes met his eyes... his eyes met my eyes.. and I'm not sure which one of us was more embarrassed.  He, with flippin' amazing speed that I never see when there is a chore to be done, did an about-face and hauled arse back into the house.  I, promptly, turned off my car and slowly came inside to witness him giving a pretty accurate, but horrifying to realize he'd seen me jamming in my driver's seat for that long, demo to Mr. Happy of my car dancing.

Joy!

Buy Local, Buy Artisan, Buy Small, Buy Independent

There is a lot of 'buy' this way phrases being thrown around as the holiday season starts (which seriously?  lights already?  We haven't even had Thanksgiving!  Just stop it already and wait until Black Friday to put up your flippin' lights!!!) which puts me into one of my regular rants.  I'm with buy local as it helps the financial status of your local community.  I'm with buy artisan as I would far rather have a product produced by an individual than mass manufactured in China.  When feasible, I'm with buy small and buy independent   But here's the deal... the moment you couple that with not the big box stores or chains you've lost me.  The reason being... the majority of those big box stores and chains started as the little guy.  They started small.  If you personally have a ban on all things imported and are only buying American - then I'm right back with you.  But if you are just against the guy that marketed his idea and grew, then you are forgetting that it started with one guy with a great idea.  Add to that that he wouldn't have made it big if we, as consumers, hadn't supported the idea and helped it come to fruition.  The dilemma also comes from a 'buy now' mentality.  I admit... I tend to be guilty of this one.  I go to my local, independent bookseller to pick up a book that my kids needs for extra credit at school and they don't have it.  They could order it for me but it will be a week before it gets in.  I go to Barnes and Noble and they not only have it, but I had the option of reserving it online first so noone else got to it before me.  Add to that a nice Starbuck's drink and I'm kinda in heaven.  I have no doubt that  the vein at Mr. Grumble's temple just started to throb.  He loves the independent bookseller.  Here's my thing though... Barnes and Noble started as one guy who thought he could do it better:

"Leonard Riggio, the company's chairman, began his bookselling career while attending New York University in the early 1960s.  Working as a clerk in the university bookstore, he became convinced that he could do a better job serving students, and he opened a competing store of his own.  With a small investment, Mr. Riggio established the Student Book Exchange (SBX) in Manhattan's Greenwich Village in 1965.  The store quickly became one of New York’s finest bookstores, known for its knowledgeable staff, wide selection and great service.

By the 1970s, Mr. Riggio’s thriving business, which included six other college bookstores, acquired the flagship Barnes & Noble trade name and flagship bookstore in Manhattan, which had fallen into decline. Within a few years, Mr. Riggio transformed the Fifth Avenue store into "The World’s Largest Bookstore," with 150,000 textbook and trade titles." (http://www.barnesandnobleinc.com/our_company/history/bn_history.html)  

This creates the dilemma... am I not allowed to buy from Barnes and Noble because Riggio did a better job, such a better job that Barnes and Noble is now the largest bookseller?  Or is it okay because at one point he was the independent guy with a stellar customer service credo and by having an entrepreneurial spirit he now employs ALOT of people thereby doing good for the local community through gainful employment and its benefits.  You don't even want to start me on the community service projects and donations this company does.  It is one of many big box or chain retailers that started as one guy.  McDonalds and Walmart are a couple more examples of US Companies that hire thousands of workers.  Often times having a much better, longer term career than they would have had elsewise.

Walmart, as one example, is an American company, hiring American, usually local, employees, is on the NY Stock Exchange that allows American individuals to own and profit from it's success.  And again... another story of a local guy, Sam Walton, who thought he could do better.  Chains like McDonalds, Wendy's, Dairy Queen, Chipotle and Subway allows the local guy franchisee ability of a company with a formula that's already a proven success and brand name recognition.

That said, yes... Walmart imports and sells a whole of of cheap 'Made in NOT America'... crap.  So... if you have the principles of only buying American (or are anti-import, anti-China, anti-Child Labor, etc.) - then don't shop there.  My only caveat to that is to ask... does that local merchant you are buying from based on your anti-import stance stand on the same principles.  While you are feeling good about yourself for buying American, or buying local, or buying independent - if you went into that merchants backroom or home will you find nothing but local, independent and America? And, if you are championing the local merchant loudly - then don't show up at IKEA and then attempt to defend or justify it somehow.

Plus, another reality is that alot of people can't afford to buy elsewhere, so as well as providing stable employment, they provide a price range that allows lower economic brackets to survive.  Would far rather that they thrive, but that's a different rant...

And yes, because we can get it cheaper and faster than the same product that the local, independent guy is making, it does hurt the local guy.  I recognize that.  That's why I said 'when feasible' I do try to buy from the local guy.  It isn't always feasible and it doesn't make me unAmerican or maliciously against the local guy.  It also, by default, shows that I'm not in the lower economic bracket because when feasible I do.

Principles are great, just remember there is more to the picture than just buy local, buy artisan, buy small, buy independent.  So, please, have your principles, attempt to help the little guy thrive but don't make the person standing next to you feel bad for where they choose to shop.

Whether you blame them or thank them... the plankton are responsible!

A friend posted a post-election link on Facebook that caught my eye... the gist of it is  that you can either thank the plankton for Obama's re-election or blame them for Romney not winning.  It's actually doing a comparison of the past two elections, so McCain can be thrown in the pot too.  It's an interesting concept (follow along with me in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie style):

• If you had a plankton bed that follows a line through the deep South (which we do), it would result in richer soil;
• If the soil was richer soil along this line, it would make for better cotton growing; 
• If the cotton grew better along this line, there would have been more slaves; 
• If there are more slaves, it would result in a predominately black population running across that line still today, 
• If there is a predominantly black population running across the 'plankton' line, it would put the vote to President Obama.
• If it put the vote to President Obama, then you should be thanking or blaming the Plankton for the past two election results. 

It's an interesting concept that I'm sure SpongeBob Square Pants villian Sheldon J. Plankton revels in!

Another recent Facebook link was one tying free states and slavery states during the Civil War to the election results (picture to the right, credit goes to Michelle Lawrence on Facebook whom I do not know but was re-posted by a friend with Lawrence giving credit for the second picture to an online reference).

This all makes me sad to think that the division between races is still such a predominant issue.  Both articles lean toward a mentality that we, as a Nation, have not made much progress forward since the Civil War or Civil Rights movements - which I do not think is true.  Unfortunately though, it frankly makes me wonder if underneath some of my Republican friends might also unknowingly still be racist and if some of my black friends only voted for Obama because he is black.  Broad generalizations based on who won/lost the election and the correlation these two posts evoked, so don't get your panties in bunch - I'm just sharing what they caused me to think.

That line of thought though, of course, then led me to the current discrimination that is prevailing against the gay community.  Is doesn't seem all that different to me.  It is discrimination toward a select group of people because they are different (first by race, now by sexual orientation).  It seems to me that the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment should protect us from this but realize that actually there has been a great history of different interpretations of it's intent.  Although this last election with the same-sex marriage victories in Maine and Maryland, the state of Minnesota not enacting legislation that would define marriage as one man and one woman, and the election of an openly gay Senator do speak to the growth of our country and provide hope for a less judgmental and condemning populous.  I find it interesting that the Republican party, who is very much so about not wanting government involvement are also the faction that is predominantly bringing forth legislation to discrimination against the gay community.  Here of late there has been a huge push by the Republican party to 'educate' the public that they were on the right side of the Civil Rights Movement while the Democrats were on the discriminating side - yet at the same time as yelling out how pro-Black they are, they are anti-Gay.  Seems a tad bit hypocritical.  While I don't agree with them, my friends who are against Gay Marriage do so because of their religious organization's interpretation of the bible and are, and should, be allow to have their opinions.  My issue is when that religious opinion is used to enact laws that are a civil discrimination - as the good majority of these religious factions are in alignment with the Republican party that has put forth the anti-Gay actions.  Please note: I purposely say 'their religious organization because not ALL Christians interpret God's Will as anti-Gay, I also generalize in regards to the Republican party based on the majority as they also are not ALL anti-Gay either.  Bottom line is that while I respect your different of opinion and right to voice it or vote based on it, I have a fundamental issue with a civil discrimination being on a ballot.  The law, in my mind, should encompass all regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation. The flip side of that though is that while, in my opinion the law should stay out of if, the religion institutions should also then have the right, without penalty, to make their decisions regarding what they will or will not allow.  Meaning, the law should not define or limit 2 parties, regardless of gender, to engage in a civil union that allows them the financial and societal benefits it brings but religious entities should have the right to not perform the marriage, or recognize the marriage, if it goes against their doctrine.  Some religions wouldn't, some would.  Either way, it would be a foundation on their beliefs and separate from the government rights.  Two things that I see as very different.

Just food for thought this morning...

And for the record... I'm neither Republican or Democrat so don't try to dispel what I think as being with the 'other' party.  I vote based on the individual and the issue and will never be a party-liner.

It is time to stop the drama!!!

Everyone needs to just stop now... I am all for expressing your excitement or disappointment over last night's results, but stop with the asinine statements attached... Our country is neither saved nor going to hell. It is seeing a man (just a man, not an angel or satan) in office for 4 years, or in the senate or house. There is a shift in political agenda every time we vote-we just see/feel it more when it is a presidential race. 4 years ago many of you posted similar comments. Just stop. Take a breath and come back to reality. This is the change and in 4 years our country will still be here. We are not done or undone by one man during one term and the shift back and forth that the senate and house undergoes happened before and will happen again. This continued drama on Facebook is ridiculous though and speaks higher to what will 'destroy' our country than one man or a group of politicians could ever do.  

As for what one could do vs. the other... every single time a President is elected, he is full of what he is going to do then gets in the White House and finds out the difference between what he wants and what he is actually capable of doing and has to pick his battle.  This dynamic is not going to change so grow a flippin' brain America and stop believing the hopeful statements and start looking at what is actually feasible and realistic.

Anyways, back on task... hoping that all take a step back and stop the madness.  

As for me, I'm disappointed that Gary Johnson (or Jill Stein or any other 3rd party candidate) did not achieve the 5% as that would have been a step toward change.  Unfortunately, even people that I thought would be the change they say they wanted to see, ended up voting for one of the two major parties instead.  Honestly, this disheartens me and I am finally feeling defeated in believing that change will ever happen.  When I was in elementary school (5th grade if I'm remembering right) we had mock elections and I ran the campaign for the Independent.  That's the foundation I started with and duration in which I've believed in someday seeing change.  I no longer see it.  Mr. Grumble (my dad - welcome to your life in blogs *grin*) recently stated to me 'unfortunately a vote outside of the two established parties is a waste. I have watched surges from libertarians, greens, Naders, etc since the early 60s and none of them can mount a legitimate effort, they just become spoilers.'  When he said it, I still believed. Unfortunately today's result have made me realize that it really might be impossible.  I am disappointed, disheartened, feeling a little crushed, not greatly full of hope any longer and have a slight tinge of despair.  That's all about me personally and what I wish I'd seen happen - it does not however reflect on President Obama or Governor Romney though.  It doesn't mean our country is going to hell... it means that I've finally realized that the dynamic of our country staying in a two-party system most likely will not change in my lifetime and probably not in my children's either.